
SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York 



ROLLING STONES 

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 



BY 

EDGAR SELWYN 





CoPYKiGHT, 1914, By Edgak Selwyn 
Copyright, 1917, By Samuel French 



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 



CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned 
that " ROLLING STONES ", being fully protected under 
the copyright laws of the United States, is subject to a 
royalty, and anyone presenting the play without the 
consent of the owner or his authorized agents will be 
liable to the penalties by law provided. Application for 
amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 
28-30 West 38th Street, New York. Application for the 
professional acting rights must be made to the American 
Play Company, 33 West 42nd Street, New York. 



New York 
SAMUEL FRENCH 
publisher 
28-30 West 38th STREET 



London 
SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 
26 Southampton Street 
STRAND 



/fo 



^l^A 



Especial notice should be taken that the possession 
of this book without a valid contract for production 
first having been obtained from the publisher, confers 
no right or license to professionals or amateurs to 
produce the play publicly or in private for gain or 
charity. 

In its present form this pla,y is dedicated to the 
reading public only, and no performance of it may be 
given, except by special arrangement Vvith Samuel 
French. 

S3CTI0N 28. — That any person who wilfully or for 
profit shall infringe any copyright secured by this act, 
or who shall knov/ingly and wilfully aid or abet such 
infringment, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, 
and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by im- 
prisonment for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of 
not less than one hundred dollars nor more than one 
thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the 
court. Act of March 4, 1909. 




©CI.D 48299 
i^OV 12 1917 



ROLLING STONES 



ORIGINAL CAST 

As Produced and Played at the Harris Theater, 
New York 

(In the order in which they first appear.) 

Jericho W. Braden, known as Mr. Walter, Arthur 

Aylesworth 

Buck Ryder Harrison Ford 

Charles Brannigan Harry Bradley 

Mrs. Brannigan Beatrice Ingram 

Anna Anderson Marguerite Skirvin 

Emma Braden Rae Sehvyn 

FuLSON Rice Frank Kingdon 

Norma Noggs Marie Carroll 

Nettie Elisabeth Lee 

Policeman George Smithfield 

Dave Fulton Charles Riiggles 

Postman , Fred Malcolm 

Strawbridge Dan Jarrett 

Denison James Kearney 

Burglar Geo. F. Smithfield 

Watchman Fred Malcolm 

A Clerk, at the Hezvitt Offices, Edwin R. Wolf 



ROLLING STONES 



ACT I 

Scene : The parlor at the Brannigan's. The room 
is papered with large figures and furnished 
ornately. There is a large opening at center 
through which can he seen the hallway and 
stciirs leading to floor above. Up r. is a bay 
zvindow which overlooks the street and the 
house stoop. Dozvn r. is a door which leads to 
Mrs. Brannigan's private sitting room. Dozvn 
left is a fireplace with gas logs. A piano up l. 
zvith some potted artificial plants. There is an 
old-fashioned couch at r. c. and a round table 
with tzvo chairs center; also an easy -chair off 
fireplace. There are some typical boarding- 
house pictures on the zvalls. 

DISCOVERED: Jap Walters, seated to right of 
center table. The hall door is heard to close, 
and Buck Ryder enters. 

Buck. {In door up c.) Hello, Walter ! 

Jap. (Reading paper) Oh, hello, old man; 
where have you been? 

Buck. All over town. Looking for a job. 
(Puts coat on chair l. of table, hat on table) 

Jap. Strike anything? 

Buck. (Crosses to fire) Not even a promise. 

Jap. Too bad. Better go down and get your 
dinner. 

Buck. (Warming hands) Is Mrs. Brannigan 
down there ? 

Jap. Yes, and Mr. Brannigan, too. 

Buck. ( With a laugh) I'd stand a fine chance of 
gettmg anything, wouldn't I ? 

5 



6 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. Oh, I don't know. Brannigan is a little 
touchy, but I think the old lady is all right. 

Buck. It was the old lady who told me this 
morning not to come back. 

Jap. Why? 

Buck. Oh, I'm about three weeks behind. 

Jap. Why not find a cheaper boarding house ? 

Buck. What good would that do me ? It's easier 
to stall Mrs. Brannigan than to go up against a 
stranger. Besides, I've got a reason for wanting 
to be here. 

Jap. Haven't you any money at all? 

Buck. Not a dollar, nor a friend who would loan 
me one. The only way I could raise any money 
would be to hold up somebody with a gun. 

Jap. Seems queer you can't get something to do. 
You're young, intelligent — good education 

Buck. Education! Ha! That's the trouble. If 
I'd only learned a trade instead of filling my head 
with history and dead languages, I'd have been 
eligible for some union and I'd probably be rolling 
in luxury by now, instead of begging for a place to 
sleep. 

(Jap laughs.) 

Brannigan. (Enters center. Crosses down l. 
of table — Buck litrns to fire) I'm afraid our dinner 
was not to your liking, Mr. Walter. You hurried 
through it so quickly. 

Jap. Oh, the dinner was all right, but I've 
acquired that eastern habit of eating fast. I've 
noticed if you don't, you lose out. 

Buck. You certainly do in this place. 

Brannigan. (Ttirning suddenly) Oh, I thought 
you'd gone. 

Buck. I didn't think your wife would mind me 
coming back to sleep. 

Brannigan, But we can't have you staying on 
here. We need your room for Mr. Braden. 



ROLLING STONES 7 

(Jap rises and crosses in front of sofa, and rolls 
cigarette.) 

Buck. Who's Mr. Braden? 

Branntgan. He's one of the heirs to the Hewitt 
estate and we expect him from the West to-night. 

Buck. Well, that's all right. I'll move into the 
attic. I'm not particular where I sleep. 

Brannigan. I'm very sorry, but we don't want 
you here at all. 

Buck. I'll speak to Mrs. Brannigan about that. 
{Turns to fire as if dismissing Brannigan) 

Brannigan. My wife always does as I wish. 

Buck. Ha! 

.Brannigan. And I shall tell her about you at 
once. (Going out calling ''Petty, Petty dear'') 

Jap. I'm afraid you're in for it now, old man. 

Buck. Who is this fellow thev're putting me out 
for? 

Jap. (Crosses to back of table — lights cigarette) 
Who — Braden? Oh, he's from the West — Walla- 
Walla, out in W^ashington. 

Buck. (Sits on arm of chair by fire) What has 
a man with money got to do with the Brannigans? 

Jap. Oh, he's the bright particular hope of the 
Brannigan family just now. Old man Hewitt left 
Braden his entire candy business, providing he mar- 
ries Mrs. Brannigan's niece. 

Buck. Not that little fluff, Norma Noggs? 

Jap. That's the girl. You've seen her floating 
around here. It seems she's the daughter of old 
Hewitt's first sweetheart. That's why he wanted 
Braden to marry her, I suppose. 

Buck. Sounds like a story book, doesn't it? 

Jap. (Crossing down front of table) Yes, but 
it sometimes happens in real life. 

Buck. Just think of a mutt falling into a pile 
like that. 

Jap. What makes you think he's a mutt ? 

Buck. Nobody but a mutt would have that luck. 
It wouldn't happen to me. 



8 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. Well, it may not be so soft for Braden 
either. He's got to marry Miss Noggs before he 
can get the money, ycu know. 

Buck. He's got the chance at it, anyway. Life 
is certainly one grand little joke, {iiirns to fire- 
place) 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Enters up c. Crosses down 
to Buck. Brannigan follows) Where is he? 

Brannigan. {Crosses down r. of table. Jap 
crosses r.) Over there by the lire. 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Down to Buck) What do 
you mean by coming back here after I distinctly 
told you that you'd have to leave unless you paid 
your bill? 

Buck. I didn't think you'd care so long as I 
didn't eat here. 

Mrs. BiiANNiGAN. You're not entitled to eat 
here. 

Buck. Perhaps not, but I did pay my board 
regularly for over a year and I'll pay again as soon 
as I get something to do. 

Mrs. Brannigan. We need your room for Mr. 
Braden. He's coming to-night. 

Buck. That's all right. You can put me some- 
where else. I don't care where, so long as there's a 
roof over it. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I'm paying rent for the whole 
building. 

Buck. But your rent goes on whether I'm here 
or not, so you're not losing anything by letting me 
stay. 

Mrs. Brannigan. We're not in business for our 
health. It's pay or get out. 

Buck. Well, of course, if that's the way you feel 
about it there's no room for further argument, but 
I'm sorry you can't see it my way. 

Anna. {Enters from stairs and comes down) 
Why, Buck 



ROLLING STONES 9 

Buck. (Crossing to her and taking her hand) 
Hello, Anna — I was hoping I'd see you. 

Anna. Where have you been? I missed you at 
dinner. 

Buck. {With a glance at Mrs. Brannigan) 
You're the only one that did, I guess. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (d. l.) Well, are you going 
or not ? 

Buck. {Crosses, gets coat and hat) Sure. 

Anna. {Crossing to Mrs. Brannigan) Going? 
Going where? 

Buck. I haven't the remotest idea, but they don't 
want me here. 

Brannigan. I'm waiting, Mr. Ryder. 

Buck. That's the kind of a job you ought to 
have. {Crosses for his hat and coat) 

Brannigan. Insulting ! 

Buck. Oh, I don't suppose you have any objec- 
tions to me taking my clothes with me? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Clothes? 

Buck. They wouldn't be of any use to you. 
Brannigan couldn't wear them. {With a laugh he 
turns and dashes up the stairs) 

Brannigan. {Crosses up a bit) That's the 
most insolent young man I ever met with. 

{Door bell rings.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. {As the door bell rings) 
Charlie, answer the door. Nettie is busy with the 
dishes. {Puts out table lamp) 

Brannigan. Oh, of course, the servants are 'al- 
ways doing something else. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Do as you're told. 

Brannigan. I'm going, my dear, I'm going. 
{He exits into hall, right) 



lo ROLLING STONES 

(Jap crosses up to door, then crosses down l. of 
table.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Going toward door r.) 
Never saw such a lazy man in all my life. 

Anna. Oh, Mrs. Brannigan. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Stops and turns) Yes? 

Anna. (Going to her) Does Mr. Ryder owe 
you very much money? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Why do you ask? 

Anna. Well, I'm very sorry for him. He's tried 
awfully hard to find work; I know he has. 

(Jap puts out cigarette.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. So he's got you going, has 
he? Now, take my advice and don't have anything 
to with him. 

Anna. Never mind about that. How much does 
he owe you? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Sixty-five dollars. 

Anna. Will you let him stay on if I pay it for 
him? 

Jap. (In front of table c.) Excuse me, ^liss 
Anderson, but I know that Ryder won't let you do 
that. 

Anna. But he needn't know anything about it. 
Mrs. Brannigan won't tell him — (To Mrs. Bran- 
nigan) Will you? 

Mrs. Brannigan. I'll have to tell him some- 
thing. 

Anna. Can't you just say that you've decided to 
let him run on a little longer, and then when he does 
pay you, you can give it back to me without his 
ever knowing anything about it? 

Mrs. Brannigan. I don't like to lie. 

Anna. It's not really a lie, and it would make 
me very happy. 



ROLLING STONES ii 

Mrs. Brannigan. Well, don't blame me for it 
afterwards, that's all. 

Anna. Certainly not. I'll get you the money 
now. {Ske runs up the stairs. Jap crosses to fire) 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Crosses up a hit) Poor 
girl, I never suspected anything like that ! 

Jap. She can't help feeling sorry for him, the 
poor devil ! 

Mrs. Brannigan. When a girl gives up real 
money for a man, believe me, it's the beginning of 
the cud. [Crosses dozvn r.) 

Brannigan. {Heard in hall) Come risfht in, 
Mr. Rice. My v/ife is in the parlor. (Enters 
center) My dear, it's our niece, Norma, and her 
lawyer, Mr. Rice. 

Rice. {Crosses front of sofa) How do you do, 
Mrs. Brannigan? 

Mrs. Brannigan. {With exaggerated zvelcome 
as Rice enters, followed by Norma Noggs) Oh, I 
am surprised. {After shaking hands with Rice, 
kisses Norma) So unexpected. Sit down, dear, 
and take olt your hat. 

(Norma sits c, r. table.) 

Rice. {In front of sofa) I'm afraid we can't 
stay. We've come over to see if you've heard the 
terrible news. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (r. of Norma) What news? 

Rice. There's been a wreck this side of Omaha 
and 

Norma. And Mr. Rice thinks that Mr. Braden 
was on that train. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Good heavens, he's not killed? 

Rice. I'm afraid so. 

Jap. {Coming c. a bit. Throws newspaper in 
chair by fire) What's that? Who's killed? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Mr. Braden. 



12 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. That's impossible ! 

Rice. {As they all look at Jap in astonishment) 
Who is this? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Mr. Walter. He's from the 
West, too. This is Mr. Rice, one of the executors 
for the Hewitt estate. 

Jap. Glad to know you, sir. (Rice crosses and 
shakes hands) Excuse me for butting in, but I'm 
rather interested in Braden. What makes you think 
he's been killed? 

Rice. There were a great many lives lost, but 
of course, I haven't been able to get any definite 
information. 

Norma. Isn't it awful? 

Rice. I'm afraid there's not much doubt about 
it. 1 had a letter from his attorneys, saying he 
would arrive here by the Overland en the 21st. 
Well, to-day is the twenty-first and he didn't get in 
this morning, so he must have been on that train. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Crosses r. a step) What 
do you think we ought to do? 

Brannigan. What can we do? 

Mrs. Brannigan. If you could do anything 
we wouldn't be running a boarding house. 

Brannigan. Now, wait a minute. It's easy 
enough to find out whether Braden was on that 
train or not. Just call up information and inquire. 

Rice. We'd get no results. The operators al- 
ways have their instructions in a case like this. I 
suggest that we go directly to the railroad station 
and find out about it. Can we get a taxi around 
here ? 

Mks. Brannigan. There's always a lot at the 
corner in front of the hotel. Run and get one, 
Charlie, 

Brannigan. I don't see the sense of standing 
around in a cold station. 

Mrs. Brannigan. You do as you're told. 



ROLLING STONES 13 

Brannigan. Very well, but if I get sick — {Goes 
out center) 

Mrs. Brannigan. No such luck ! 

Rice. {To Norma) In the meantime I'll tele- 
phone your mother so she won't feel anxious. 

Mrs. Brannigan. You can see the 'phone in my 
sitting-room. 

Rice. {Crosses to room r.) Thank you. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I'll show you where it is. 
(Rice follows her into room right. Mrs. Bran- 
nigan at door r.) You don't mind, Mr. Walter? 

Jap. No, not at all. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Wouldn't make any difference 
if you did. {Exits) 

Jap. Oh, Miss Noggs. (Norma turns to him) 
Do I understand that you're going to marry a man 
you've never seen? {Crosses to her) 

Norma. {Rises) Yes, isn't it romantic? 

Jap. Seriously, now, you don't mean to tell me 
that there isn't some other fellow you wouldn't 
rather marry if it wasn't for this will thing? 

Norma. \\'hy do you say that ? 

Jap. Well, every girl has a sweetheart, and when 
she's as pretty as you are — come on, own up. I 
won't tell anyone. 

Norma. Are you making love to me? 

Jap. Certainly not. 

Norma. Well, it wouldn't make any difference if 
you were, because Mother says she's been waiting 
all her life for somebody to die and leave us some 
money, and we've just got to have this. 

Rice. {Enters from room, right, follozved by 
Mrs. Brannigan) I got your mother. Norma. 
She wants me to bring you home right away. 

Mrs. Brannigan. You can drop her on your 
way to the station. {Goes to window and looks 
out) There's Charlie with the taxi, now. 



14 ROLLING STONES 

Rice. (Up in doorway c.) Good. Come along, 
Norma. {He goes out) 

Norma. Good-night, auntie. 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Kissing her) Good-night, 
my dear. We'll let you know if we hear anything. 

Norma. Good-night, Mr. Walter. {Goes out 
center) 

Jap. Good-night. 

(Mrs. Brannigan starts for door r.) 

Anna. {Enters from down-stairs door quickly) 
He hasn't gone yet, has he? 

Mrs. Brannigan. {In front sofa) Who? 

Anna. Mr. Ryder. 

Mrs. Brannigan. No, he's still upstairs. 

Anna. Here's the money. {Gives money to 
Mrs. Brannigan) 

Mrs. Brannigan. Now, remember, you're doing 
it against my advice. 

Anna. Yes, but he isn't to know. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I won't tell him. {Takes 
money and goes into her room) 

Anna. You won't tell him either, will you, Mr. 
Walter? 

Jap. He'll never get it out of me. 

Anna. Thanks. {She starts up) 

Jap. Oh, Miss Anderson? {She turns) You've 
been at the Hewitt office a long time, haven't you ? 

Anna. {Coming down a step) Yes, for several 
years. I was Mr. Hewitt's private secretary. 

Jap. Do you expect to stay with the firm? 

Anna. If the new owner wants me. 

Jap. If he's anything like / think he is, he will. 

Buck. {Comes down the stairs with his bag 
packed) Well, I'm on my way. Where's the lady 
of mercy? 

Jap, In her room. 



ROLLING STONES 15 

Buck. (Puts hat on table; coat and suitcase on 
chair) Just want her to see Tm not taking any- 
thing with me that isn't mine. 

Anna. L'll tell her you're here. {Goes into room 
left) 

Jap. (Sitting in chair by fire, reading paper) 
We've had a lot of excitement while you were up- 
stairs. Braden may not get here after all. 

Buck. How's that? 

Jap. The Overland was wrecked near Omaha 
and they think he was on it. 

Buck. Killed? 

Jap. Don't know, but they're all upset about it. 

Buck. Gee, that's tough, ain't it ? And I thought 
he was so lucky. I hope it isn't true. (Mrs. Bran- 
NiGAN enters froyn room left, follozved by Anna) 
Just going, Mrs. Brannigan ! Thought you might 
like to take a look and see I've nothing belongs to 
you. (Opens suitcase and lifts clothes) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (By chair r. of table) You 
will have your little joke, Mr. Ryder. It isn't neces- 
sary for you to leave now. I've decided to fix up my 
sitting-room here for Mr. Braden, if he comes. 
(Indicates room) So I'll let you run on a hule 
longer. 

Buck. Why this sudden change of heart? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Everything has been taken 
care of. 

Buck. Taken care of? You mean that some- 
body has paid for — ? (Looks at Jap) 

Mrs. Brannigan. No, I'm doing it because 

Buck. You're not doing anything. I know you 
well enough for that. 

?^IRS. Brannigan. Surely, if I want to be charit- 
able once in a v/hile 

Buck. I'm not accepting that kind of charity. 
(To Jap) Look here, Walter, you know I won't 
accept anything like that. 



i6 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. My dear fellow, I hadn't anything to do with 
it. 

Buck. Then who was it? {He follows Jap's 
eyes to Anna, who hozvs her head guiltily) Ah! 
(He draws a long breath, then turns to Mrs. Bran- 
nigan) Mrs. Brannigan, if Miss Anderson has paid 
you any money for me will you please give it back 
to her ? 

Anna. {Crossing to front of table) It's only a 
loan. You can pay me back. 

Buck. Mrs. Brannigan, give it back to her, 
please. 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Crosses r. a step) That's for 
her to say. 

Buck. {To Anna) You must take it back, 
Anna. 

(Anna goes to Mrs. Brannigan reluctantly, and 
holds out her hands.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Gives her the money) 
You'd never have gotten it from him. Now, Mr. 
Ryder, you can go on your way. {Crosses to Buck) 

Buck. I've changed my mind about that, too. 

Mrs. Brannigan. What? 

Buck. You'll get your money but I'll get it for 
you myself. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I've heard those promises be- 
fore. 

Buck. I'm going out to get that money for you 
to-night. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Where do you expect to get 

it? 

Buck. That's my business, but I'm going out for 
it now. If I'm not back you have your room, and 
if I am you'll have your money. In either case you 
have nothing to lose. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Well, so long as it's under- 
stood. 



ROLLING STONES 17 

Buck. And now, if you don't mind, Fd like to 
speak to Miss Anderson alone. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Very well. (Cj'osses R. of 
Anna) Put that money where it will be safe. 
(She goes into room r.) 

Buck. (Turning to Jap) Can't you find some- 
thing to do, Walter? 

Jap. What? Oh, sure. (Rises and goes up) 
I've got an appointment outside. I'll keep it now. 
(Gets hat and coat from rack. Puts nezvs paper on 
chair in hall) 

Buck. Thanks. 

Anna. (After Jap has gone) Are you angry 
with me? 

Buck. Certainly not. It was bully of you. I 
can't tell you how much I appreciate what you tried 
to do for me. 

Anna. Then why wouldn't you let me help you? 
(Crosses to Buck) 

Buck. I'm down pretty low, Anna, but I haven't 
yet taken money from a woman. 

Anna. But that's so silly. Aren't we friends? 

Buck. That's juf.t why. That's just what makes 
me feel so humiliated. 

Anna. Humiliated ! 

Buck. I don't expect you to understand it — I 
can't even explain it. Call it false pride if you like. 
It really doecn't matter. But I'm thoroughly 
ashamed of myself. 

Anna. Why? 

Buck. Here you are a mere slip of a girl in a big 
responsible position, able and willing to help me and 
here I am, a full-sized man, unable to help even 
myself — down and out: a failure. 

Anna. Oh, don't say that. 

Buck. I may as vv^ell face the truth, Anna. I've 
been a complete failure until now. I was even 
ready to lay down — to quit — but you've made me 



i8 ROLLING STONES 

realize that the world isn't all rotten — that some- 
body was zvilling to help; you've given me a lift 
and now I'm going to make another fight for it. 

Anna. Oh, I'm so glad. You're bound to win 
out if you try. 

Buck. That's just what I'm going to do — try. 
(Quickly, as Anna attempts to speak) But if any- 
think should happen, I won't be back. 
Anna. (Troubled) Buck! 
Buck. (Takes her hand) And that's why I want 
you to know what a lot you mean to me, and if any- 
thing should prevent me from seeing you again 
you'll know why I wanted to stay on in this house. 
You understand what I mean, don't you? 
Anna. Yes, Buck. 

Buck. (Takes her in his arms fiercely, and kisses 
her) Thank God for you, dear! 

Anna. But tell me 

Buck. I haven't the right to say anything more 
now. Perhaps we'll have a good long talk later on, 

if ■ 

Anna. If what? 
Buck. If I come back. 

Anna. (Starts to speak) Good-night. (They 

shake hands. Then she turns and goes upstairs. 

On stairs) Please come back. 

(Buck crosses up to door and watches her off. 

Then looks about until his eyes fall on his hag. 

Looks about furtively, puts on overcoat, then 

crosses to bag and opens it quickly. Takes out 

a revolver zvhich he examines and puts in his 

overcoat pocket. Closes the bag. Puts on his 

hat and pulls it well over his eyes. Turns up 

his coat-collar and goes out center. After a 

pause the street door is heard to slam and 

Curtain falls 



ROLLING STONES 19 

Scene II : SJiozcs a part of the North Clark Street 
Bridge. Several hours are supposed to have 
elapsed. 

At Rise: Buck is discovered leaning against rail- 
ing R. A man and a zvoman enter from r. and 
walk rapidly across stage and go out l. A 
policeman enters left and stops on seeing Buck. 
Trolley car can be seen crossing painted 
bridge on drop. 

Buck. {Turns and sees him) Oh, good even- 
ing, officer. 

Policeman. Waiting for somebody? 

Buck. No, just admiring the scenery. 

Policeman. (Sarcastically) It's a pretty thing, 
isn't it? 

Buck. Yes, it is. (He goes out r.) 

(Policeman crosses r. a step. In the meantime, 
Dave Fulton has entered from right, but on 
seeing the policeman he turns back. The police- 
man stops him.) 

Policeman. Here — you ! 

Dave. (Stops and turns) Me? 

Policeman. Yes, you. (Dave starts away 
again) Wait a minute. 

Dave. (As Policeman comes to him) I haven't 
done anything. 

Policeman. What's your game? 

Dave. What? 

Policeman. Come on, now. W^hat's the idea? 

Dave. Haven't an idea in my head. 

Policeman. What's your business? 

Dave. Haven't any. Out of work. 

Policeman. Where do you hve? 

Dave. Here in town. 

Policeman. Whereabouts ? 



20 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. On the South Side. 
Policeman. What are you doing over here? 
Dave. Got put out of my room this mornmg. 
Been looking for a job. 

Policeman. Oh, I suppose you were looking for 
a job to clean the river. Come on now, I'm wise. 
What's your lay? 

Dave. I don't know what you mean. 
Policeman. Don't, eh? {Showing cluh) Know 
what this means, don't you ? Well, it'll get you on 
the bean if you try to kid me. 

Dave. I'm telling you the truth. I'm out of work 
and haven't anywhere to go — honest, I haven't. 

Policeman. Well, I'll give you the benefit of the 
doubt. But if you try to pull anything around here 
you'll go in. Get me? 

Dave. I got you. {As policeman turns azuay) 
Say, officer — {As the policeman turns back) What 
do you have to do to get run in? 

Policeman. Just keep on trying to kid me. 
Dave. Couldn't you take me to the station house 
just for the night? 

Policeman. I could, but I ain't going to. Beat 
it. 

Dave. {Turns dully and starts to go. He sud- 
denly stops and szvays, clutching the railing for sup- 
port. He turns apologetically to Policeman) A 
little woozy, I guess. {Exits) 

Policeman. Too much booze, you mean. That's 
the trouble with all you guys. (Policeman crosses 
to L. a bit) 

(Man enters from R. followed by Buck. He sees 
Policeman and stops. Policeman goes out r. 
Buck starts l. after man, stops, takes out 
revolver, puts it back in pocket as he says:) 

Buck. Oh! Pleli! I can't do it. 



ROLLING STONES 21 

(Dave enters from l., sees Buck and creeps upon 
him, revolver in hand.) 

Dave. Put up your hands ! 

Buck. What? 

Dave. Put up your hands or Fll blow your head 
off. Quick now, r;ive me what you've got. 

Buck. {Suddenly knocks gun from his hand and 
ptisJies him down) Is that so? 

Dave. Don't hit nie ! Don't hit me ! 

Buck. {Picks tip gun) Get up — get up. (Dave 
slozuly rises to his feet, then suddenly dashes to the 
rail and tries to climb over. Buck quickly seizes 
him and drags him back) No, you don't. 

Dave. Let me go ! Let m.e go ! 

Buck. Don't be a fool. I'm not going to hurt 
you. {Throws Dave over r.) 

Buck. {Puts gun in pocket) You ought to have 
your head sm.ashed. Nobody but a coward tries to 
kill himself. 

Dave. Yes, I l:now, but the fellow that says that 
always has a full stomach and a place to sleep. 

Buck. Oh, that's your trouble, is it ? Well, how 
do you know that I'm not in the same fix? 

Dave. Are you? 

Buck. I'm hungry and I've just been put out of 
my boarding house, but I didn't figure on killing 
myself. I made up my mind that the world owed 
me a living and, like you, I came out to get it with 
a gun. 

Dave. Far as I can see you're not such a hell of 
a success either. 

Buck. No, because I couldn't go through with 
it. It's a lucky thing you met me instead of some 
other fellow. Come on now, get on your feet. 

Dave. What's the u-p? 

Buck. That cop will be back in a minute. 
{Crosses to r.) 



ROLLING STONES 



Dave. I don't care. 

Buck. He'll run you in. 

Dave. No — I asked him to, but he wouldn't do it. 

Buck. Good Lord! Are you as hard up as 
that? 

Dave. Ain't I telling you? I've no place to 
sleep, and haven't had anything to eat for days. 

Buck. You poor mutt! And I thought / was 
playing in hard luck! How'd you happen to get 
in this fix? 

Dave. (Rises) Lost my job and couldn't get 
another. 

Buck. 

Dave. 

Buck. 

Dave. 

Buck. 

Dave. 



Came 
Got a 



Where are your folks? 
Haven't any folks. 
Dead? 

Both of them. 
Brothers — sisters ? 
Not a thing. Nobody that cares, 
up from Evansvilie when my mother died, 
job for seven a week. Laid me off two weeks ago. 
Looked for another till I near went blind. Couldn't 
pay for my room and got put out. Wouldn't mind 
that so much if I could only get something to eat. 
Buck. Here, you come with me, I'll get you 
something to eat. 
Dave. Where ? 

Buck. Up where I've been living. 
Dave. Thought you said you were dov/n and out. 
Buck. I thought I was, but after looking at you 
I feel I've been living in luxury. Look out. Here 
comes that cop. Brace up. Don't pay any atten- 
tion to him. Laugh. 
Dave. What for? 

I'm taking you home with mc. 
That's funny, all right, but I'm all laughed 



Buck. 
Dave. 
out. 
Buck. 



Do you want him to run us both in ? Go 



ROLLING STONES 23 

on, you fool, laugh. I'm going to get you some- 
thing to eat. 

^ Dave. {Laughing loudly hut mirthlessly) Gee 
tnat's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time* 
{Going right. The Policeman has come along and 
stops to regard them with suspicion as they slap 
each other on the back and laugh uproariously) 

Policeman. Ha! Ha! What's the joke? 

Buck. You wouldn't appreciate it, officer 

P0LICE]\^AN. No? 

Buck. I've just met an old friend. 
Policeman. Old friend, eh? 
Buck. That's right. I've been searching for this 
boy a long time. 

Policeman, (ro Dave. Goes forivard as "Dave 
retreats) You're the guy that wanted to go to the 
station, am t you? 

Dave. I've changed my mind. 

Policeman. Maybe I have, too. 

Buck. Oh, no ! Nothing like that at all He's 
going home with me. 

Policeman. That so? 

Buck. Sure, now that I've found him, I'm j^oing 
to hang on to him. ^ ^ 

Policeman. Let's see you start. 

(Dave crosses to Buck. Trolley car effect.) 

Buck. Come on, Kid. Good-night, officer 
Policeman. Good-night ! 
Dave. Good-night ! 

{Curtain starts. Rest of dialogue continues as cur- 
tain comes down.) 

Buck. {To Dave as they go out right) It's a 
diimn good thing I found you! ^ 

j-'AVE. You bet it is. 



24 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. A nice warm bed with something solid 
inside of you — not so bad, eh? 
Dave. I should say not. 
{The policeman stands zvatching them off.) 

Scene III : The parlor at the Brannigans', a 
short time after the preceeding scene. The 
room is dark save for the moonlight zvhich 
streams through the zvindows. It is past mid- 
night and everybody has apparently retired. 

At rise : Buck appears from hall followed by 
Dave. Buck stops to draw the curtains across 
doors, then turns up lamp on table. 

Buck. {Puts coat and hat on piano stool) Wait 
a minute and I'll light this gas fire. Got a match? 

Dave. No. I haven't anything. 

Buck. Never mind — here's one. {Takes match 
box frotn table) 

Dave. {/Is Buck lights fire) I never expected 
to see the inside of a place like this. 

Buck. No ! Sit in this chair and get warm while 
I forage in the kitchen. 

Dave. {Crossing to Buck and stopping him 
again) Say 

Buck. What? 

Dave. What's your name? 

Buck. Buchanan Ryder. Call me Buck. What's 
yours ? 

Dave. Mine is Dave Fulton. Call me Dave. 

Buck. All right, Dave. I'll go get the grub. 
(Crosses up a bit) 

Dave. Say— — 

Buck. What? 

Dave. It's all right, ain't it? 

Buck. What? 

Dave. Me being in this place ? 

Buck. Sure, it's all right. 



ROLLING STONES 25 

Dave. No chance of the landlady making a kick? 

Buck. Why, she'll be tickled to death to see a 
friend of mine. 

Dave. Pretty soft. 

Buck. But don't make any noise or you'll wake 
'em up. I'll be back in a minute. (Buck goes out 
center and Dave settles himself in front of fire and 
warms himself) 

Dave. Oh, boy! {Crash. He looks about 
quickly for a hiding place and darts under table, 
2nd crash. Dave comes out, crosses to sofa. After 
a pause he realizes that nobody is coming and peers 
out furtively) 

(Buck enters center carrying a plate containing the 
remains of a roast and some pie,) 

Buck. Where are you? 

Dave. Here I am. What did you do? 

Buck. Smashed something. Couldn't help it. 
Had to feel for the grub in the dark, 

Dave. What did you get? 

Buck. {Placing it on table) Best I could do. 
Get a chair and dig in. 

Dave. Roast beef! 

Buck. And apple pie. 

Dave. {Sits r. of table) Oh, my God ! 

Buck. {Pours milk in Dave's cup) Don't wait. 

Dave. 'Scuse my fingers. 

Buck. Go to it ! {There is a pause during which 
Dave eats ravenously) How is it? 

Dave. I didn't know anything could taste so 
good. 

Buck. Help yourself to the pie. 

Dave. {In a smothered voice) In a minute. 

Buck. There's your half. 

Dave. Thanks. {Another pause) Say — ^know 
what? 



26 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. No, what? 

Dave. You were right — what you said. No man 
has any right to kill himself. (Buck grunts affirma- 
tively) It's cowardly. 

Buck. Sure it is. 

Dave. The world owes every man a living. 

Buck. That's what I say. 

Dave. All we ask is a place to sleep and some- 
thing to eat. That ain't so much, is it ? 

Buck. It's more than we get sometimes. 

Dave. You never can tell. You just got to keep 
on going. 

Buck. Guess that's why we hang on. 

Dave. Um-m ! I didn't know there could be such 
pie. 

Buck. If Mrs. Brannigan were as good as her 
pie I wouldn't be in this fix. 

Dave. Why, what did she do to you ? 

Buck. Oh, fired me out to make room for a fel- 
low named Braden. He just fell into a big fortune. 

Dave. Some fellows have all the luck, haven't 
they ? 

Buck. I'm not so sure he was lucl<:y. There's a 
chance he was killed in that Omaha wreck. Any- 
way, I had to swallow my pride to come back here 
to-night. 

Dave. A fellow will swallow anything if he's 
hungry. Look at me. I didn't know I was going 
to run into this feed. I thought it was the finish 
until you came along. No use talking, there's only 
one way to get what's coming to us. 
Buck. What way is that? 

Dave. Hold 'em up and take it away from them. 
Bing!! {Business) 
Buck. You're wrong. 

Dave. But I thought ■ 

Buck. I started out with that idea, but I was 
wrong. That way doesn't get you anything. 



ROLLING STONES 27 

Dave. (Siting up the room) Well, this looks 
pretty good to me. 

Buck. (Rising and going to fireplace) What a 
fool I've been ! 

Dave. Buck, ain't you going to eat your pie? 

Buck. No, I'm too nervous to eat. 

Dave. (Taking the pie) That's good. 

Buck. (Turns suddenly) Listen: Providence 
sent you to me to-tiight. 

Dave. Who ? 

Buck. Providence or fate or whatever you want 
to call it, but you saved me from something pretty 
bad. 

Dave. From what? 

Buck. From myself. I was desperate to-night 
and went out to get what I thought was coming to 
me with a gun. 

Dave. So did I, but you happened to be the first. 

Buck. You mean to say that I was the first you 
ever tried it on ? 

Dave. The very first. 

Buck. That's hard luck, old man. 

Dave. No, it was good luck for me. If it had 
been some other guy I might have been caught. 

Buck. Suppose we'd both been caught ? A term 
in prison. Perhaps criminals for the rest of our 
lives, if we just hadn't happened to meet — don't you 
see? 

Dave. Yes, and you saved me from the river, too. 

Buck. Exactly : we saved each other. I tell you 
it just wasn't meant for either of us to beat the 
game that way, so it must mean that there is some- 
thing else coming to us. 

Dave. What? 

Buck. I don't know, but it certainly seems 
strange that out of all the millions in this city we 
two should be thrown together like this. 

Dave. Lucky thing for me, all right, all right. 



28 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. We're just a couple of rolling stones, I 
guess. 

Dave. And they say they never gather any moss. 

Buck. Well, let's stop rolling and try to gather 
some. 

Dave. How ? 

Buck. Here we are, two fairly husky young 
fellows with the average amount of brains. Why 
can't we double up ? Two heads are better than one. 
Let's go after the coin. There must be plenty of it 
in the world because somebody's getting it. 

Dave. There ain't any jobs. I know that ! 

Buck. I don't mean in wages. I mean big- 
money. Up in the thousands 

Dave. {With mouthful of food) Thousands! 

Buck. That's the only kind worth while. 

Dave. You're right. You're right. 

Buck. I know I'm right. (Crosses toward fire} 
It only needs an idea. Can't you think of some- 
thing ? 

Dave. Not a damn thing! 

Buck. It will come if we think hard enough. 
We've simply got to beat this game and we can if 
we stick together. 

Dave. I'm for that. I'm for that. 

Buck. You can bunk with me to-night. And in 
the morning I'll give you some of my things and 
we'll start in to beat the world. What do you say ? 
Will vou stick? 

Dave. Will I? Like glue! 

Buck. Then we're partners. 

Dave. You bet. I'm for you — strong. (Rises, 
crosses to Buck, and shakes) 

Buck. Good. There's my hand. 

Dave. Shake. (They shake hands and at this 
moment outside c. d. Brannigan yells, and Mrs. 
Brannigan screams. Dave goes under the table. 
The curtains are thrown aside and Brannigan 



ROLLING STONES 29 

enters, revolver in hand. He is followed by Mrs. 
Brannigan and Anna. All are in their night- 
clothes. Anna turns on light) 

Brannigan. (Levelling revolver) Throw up 
your hands. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Shrieking at the same time. 
Crosses dozvn to l. upper of sofa) Burglars — 
poHce ! ! ! 

Brannigan. Call the police station ! Telephone 
quick! (Cross down l.) 

Buck. Wait a minute ! Wait a minute ! What 
the devil is all this about ? 

Brannigan. Hello, it's Ryder. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Rvder? 

Anna. (At l. end 'of sofa) Oh, I was so 
frightened. 

Brannigan. What are you doing here at this 
time of night? 

Buck. Eating. 

Mrs. Brannigan and Brannigan.' (Together) 
Eating ? 

(Anna crosses around r. end of sofa.) 

Buck. Certainly. I was hungry. 
^ Mrs. Brannigan. (Seeing food for the first 
time) Look at my poor roast beef! And I was 
saving it for to-morrow's lunch! (Belligerently) 
What is the meaning of this ? 

Buck. Now, don't get excited. It's easily ex- 
plained. 

Mrs. Brannigan. You can't explain your goin^r 
into my ice-box. ^^ 

Brannigan. Aha, that was the noise we heard. 

Mrs. Brannigan. How dare you? How dare 
you steal ! 

Buck. (Backs azvay l.) What? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Yes, steal— that's what you 



30 ROLLING STONES 

did. (Stumbles over Dave's feet and shrieks) 
Who is that ? 

Buck. (To Dave) Stand up, kid. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (As Dave rises with pie in 
hand) Who is this? 

Buck. (Passes Dave to his l.) Don't you know 
who this is? 

Brannigan. No, sir — we do not. 

Buck. This is Mr. Braden. 

Brannigan. Mr. Braden? 

Mrs. Brannigan. Our Mr. Braden? 

Buck. Mr. Jericho W. Braden. Just arrived 
from Omaha. 

Brannigan. Bless my soul! 

Mrs. Brannigan. Oh, my dear boy, I'm so glad. 
(Throwing her arms gushingly about the surprised 
Dave. Buck crosses to Anna r.) We were so 
afraid you were on that train. 

Brannigan. (Seizing his hand and wringing it 
effusively) A narrow escape my boy, a narrow 
escape. 

(Buck is blithely explaining the matter to Anna, as 

Curtain falls 

Second curtain 

(Mrs. Brannigan with arms about Dave. Bran- 
nigan shaking his hand. Dave's other hand 
holds pie.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. My dear boy — -I am so glad — 
Brannigan. I congratulate you, etc. 

(Ad lib. to curtain.) 



ROLLING STONES 31 

ACT II 

Scene: Same as Act I. 

At rise: Nettie, a maid, appears at center door 
and shows Emma Braden in. 

Nettie. Mr. Walter hasn't been down yet, but if 
you'll take a seat I'll call him. 

Emma. Thank you. {Cross dozvn tozvard fire) 

Jap. {He is not seen by audience) Good-morn- 
ing, Nettie. 

Nettie. {Turns to stairs just as Jap comes 
down) Oh, I was just going up for you. There's 
a lady wants to see you. 

Jap. {At foot of stairs) A lady to see me? 
Who is it ? 

Nettie. I don't know her name. She's in the 
parlor. {She exits left) 

Jap. {Comes down center) That's funny. 

Emma. {Hearing Jiis voice, turns) Jerry! 

Jap. Emma ! Good Lord ! When did you get 
here. {Cross dozvn to her) 

Emma. Just got off the train 

Jap. Why did you comxC? Didn't I tell you? 

Emma. I know you did, but I got so worried 
when you didn't write. 

Jap. {Going up) You didn't tell that girl my 
name, did you? 

Emma. I just asked for Mr. Walter. 

(Jap sighs zviih relief. Goes r. to end of sofa.) 

Jap. Thank goodness you didn't mention Braden, 
or the fat would have been in the fire. 

Emma. Aren't you going to kiss me, Jerry? 



3^ ROLLING STONES 

Jap. I knew I had forgotten something. (Kisses 
her) 

Emma. That was such a stingy one. (Kiss) 
That was better. 

Jap. But you couldn't have come at a worse time. 

Emma. You said you'd send for me. 

Jap. I meant to when I got things straightened 
out. 

Emma. What things? Why don't you tell me 
what they are? 

Jap. I didn't dare tell you or you'd never have 
let me come without you. 

Emma. Why should you come without me ? I'm 
your wife. 

Jap. Sh! Sh! 

Emma. What is it, Jerry? 

Jap. If I tell you now will you try to be reason- 
able? 

Emma. I'm always reasonable. 

Jap. (Skeptically) Yes, I know. 

Emma. (Sits on chair left of table) Anyway, I 
don't see why we have to keep our marriage a secret. 

Jap. There was a certain condition to Uncle 
Hewitt's will which makes it necessary. 

Emma. What condition? 

Jap. That I marry Miss Noggs. 

Emma. But you can't. (Up) You're married 
to me. 

Jap. Of course, dear, but don't you see ? If they 
find that out I'll lose my share of his estate. 

Emma. You were trying to get rid of me. 

Jap. Not at all. I'm trying to get rid of this 
girl. 

Emma. How? 

Jap. By getting her to marry somebody else. 
Every girl has a sweetheart, and if I can only find a 
fellow she's in love with, I'll wish her on to him 
and she and I can split the estate between us. 



ROLLING STONES 33 

Emma. But suppose you can't get anybody to 
marry Miss Noggs? 

Jap. a pretty girl like that? Gee. It ought to 
be a cinch. (Crosses l. of sofa) 

Emma. Pretty? Then you've already seen her? 

Jap. (Looking up tozuard door up c.) Of course. 

Emma. How often? 

Jap. Nearly every day. 

Emma. Jerry! 

Jap. (Tunis back to Emma) I can't help seeing 
her. She's a niece of the people who run this house. 

Emma. That's why you came here. 

Jap. Sure. I came on here without letting any- 
one know, so that I could find out something about 
her, and now I've got to stay and keep an eye on the 
situation. 

Emma. On this girl, you mean. 

Jap. Now, don't be silly. If I wanted her for 
myself, I wouldn't be trying to marry her to some- 
one else, would I ? 

Emma. I don't know. Men do marry a lot of 
women in Chicago. 

Jap. (Crosses r. a bit) Oh, don't be absurd. 

Emma. (Follozvs him) Jerry, promise you'll 
never love anyone but me. 

Jap. I promise. 

Emma. (Embracing him) Oh, Jerry! 

Jap. Now, for Heaven's sake, control yourself 
and let's get down to cases. (Puts Emma in chair 
R. of table) Did you bring my identification papers? 

Emma. No. 

Jap. What! 

Emma. You wired me to send them by registered 
mail and I did ; haven't you got them ? 

Jap. No. 

Emma. I sent them the minute I got your wire. 
I didn't even stop to change the envelope. 

Jap. How did you address it? 



34 ROLLING STONES 

Emma. Huh? 

Jap. Did you send it to Walters ? 

Emma. (Blanklv) I don't think I did. 

Jap. What! 

Emma. I'm afraid I forgot. 

Jap. (Crosses to l.) Oh, Lord — then those 
papers will be coming here in the name of Braden ! 

Emma. (Rises) I'm so sorry, Jerry. 

Jap. It's up to me to camp on the doorstep and 
waylay that postman. 

Emma. (Crosses to him) Please don't be cross 
with me. 

Jap. Did you remember to bring my trunk with 
you? 

Emma. Yes, but I left it at the station because I 
didn't know if you'd want it sent here or not. 

Jap. Where's the check ? 

Emma. Here it is. 

Jap. (Taking check) All right, I'll get the trunk 
some other time, but I want you to get away now 
before anybody sees you, or I'll have to explain. 

Emma. Where'll I go? 

Jap. To some hotel — there's one around the 
corner. I'll look you up this afternoon. Got any 
money ? 

Emma. Yes, but I don't want to leave when I've 
just seen you. 

Jap. You don't want me to lose out, do you? 

Emma. No, of course not. 

Jap. (Takes her up) Then do as I say. 

Emma. You'll surely come and see me this after- 
noon? 

Jap. The very first thing. 

Emma. All right, then. 

Jap. And, Emma — (She stops and he goes to her) 
I'm awfully glad you're here, just the same. (About 
to embrace her as the outside door is heard to open 
and close) Lookout! (In a loud voice) Yes, I'll 



ROLLING STONES 35 

attend to that at once. (Buck enters and looks at 
Emma curiously as he passes) Thank you for com- 
ing. Good-bye. 

Emma. Good-bye. (She goes out) 

Buck. (Crosses dozvn tozvard safe. Puts hat and 
coat on sofa) Who's your friend? 

Jap. {Crosses down to fire) Oh, just a lady I 
know. You're out early this morning. Did you get 
what you went after last night? 

Buck. I certainly did. Is he up vet? 

Jap. (At fireplace) Who? 

Buck. Mr. Braden. 

Jap. What Mr. Braden? 

Buck. The fellow they were expecting from the 
West last night. He got in, after all. Haven't you 
seen him ? 

Jap. No, 

Buck. Well, I'll introduce you to him. We're 
great friends already. (Starts for door down right) 

Jap. (Crosses to Buck) Wait a minute. Do 
you mean to tell me that there is somebody here who 
claims to be Jericho W. Braden? 

Buck. Claims to be? He is. 

Jap. (Turns away) \Nhy, it's impossible. 

Buck. Why is it? 

Jap. Because Braden — he was in that Omaha 
wreck. 

Buck. Sure he was, but had a most wonderful 
escape. Came through without a scratch. 

Jap. But how do you know he's Braden? 

Buck. The Brannigans wouldn't make a mis- 
take, would they? 

Jap. Have they seen him, too? 

Buck. Certainly, and they're tickled to death 
about it. 

Jap. (Crosses l. end of table up) I'd better see 
Mr. Rice immediately. (Starts up) 

Buck. Don't you want to meet my friend? 



Z6 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. No, I'll meet him later. {He goes out 
quickly. Takes hat and coat from rack) 

(Buck knocks on door right.) 

Dave. {Ojf) What's the matter? 

Buck. It's me — Buck ! 

Dave. All rig^ht. Just a minute. (Buck crosses 
to chair at fireplace and throzvs coat and hat dozvn. 
Dave enters right) Hello, old man. Look, your 
collar just fits me — isn't it fine? 

Buck. {By chair near fire) Do you know what 
time it is? 

Dave. No, and I don't care. It's the first decent 
sleep I've had in weeks. Soft bed, warm covers 
and a full tummy. Say, is breakfast ready? 

Buck. It's waiting for you. (Dave starts hut 
Buck stops him) But first we must decide what 
we're going to do. 

Dave. How do you mean — decide? Didn't I 
say I'd string along with you? 

Buck. {Brings Dave dozvn r. table) Yes, but 
how far will you go ? 

Dave. {Dozvn by table) Any distance that will 
get me a soft bed like that and three square meals a 
day. 

Buck. {Leaning over table back) Then, listen. 
Dave, I think we're in line for a big killing. 

Dave. {Sits) How? 

Buck. This fellow Braden and the candy busi- 
ness that was left to him by old Hewitt. It's the 
chance of a lifetime. 

Dave. For who? 

Buck. For you — for both of us. 

Dave. How ? 

Buck. They've taken you for Braden, haven't 
they? Well, all you've got to do is to stay Braden 
for a little while and we can clean up. 



ROLLING STONES 37 

Dave. You don't mean to say you're going 
through with this thing? 

Buck. Didn't you say you'd string along? 

Dave. Yes, but I don't want to do anything real 
crooked. 

Buck. What's crooked about it? Old Hewitt 
left the business to Braden, didn't he, and if Braden 
is killed, whom do we harm? 

Dave. How do you know he's been killed ? 

Buck. (Kneeling in chair left of table) The 
first thing I did when I got up this morning was to 
get a paper and look through the list of survivors 
who came in on that relief train last night. Braden's 
name wasn't among them. Then I beat it down to 
the station and got next to the conductor who 
brought the survivors through and made up the list. 
He hadn't even heard the name before. 

Dave. Well? 

Buck. Don't you see? Braden was one of the 
victims of that wreck, but he can't be identified. 
He'll never be heard from again and here's a big 
candy business just vvTiiting for somebody to fall 
into. 

Dave. But I don't know anything about the candy 
business. 

Buck. You can learn. 

Dave. In a couple of years. 

Buck. No, in a half hour. x\t least, all you'd 
have to know about it. ^>Iiss Anderson will be 
down in a minute and she'll give me all the inside 
dope. 

Dave. (Rises and goes left) We couldn't get 
away with a thing like that. Why, they'd ask me 
all sorts of questions and I wouldn't know what to 
say. Just take a good look at me. I'm a fine look- 
ing guy to be heir to a fortune. Ain't I? No 
trunk, no clothes, except what's on me. They'd be 
wise in a minute. 



38 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. The Brannigans weren't wise. (Crosses 
to Dave) And besides, you were on that train and 
lost everything you had in the smash-up. 

Dave. I did? 

Buck. Sure. Let them prove you didn't. 

Dave. (Takes newspaper from tnaiitel) Gee, I 
wish I had your nerve. (Sits by fire) 

Buck. It doesn't take nerve, or brains, either. 
All you have to do is to stand pat and let them do all 
the guessing. 

Dave. You've got a great line of talk, all right. 

Buck. I'm giving it to you straight. This is the 
chance we were looking for and it's up to us to either 
take it or go back to — to starvation. 

Dave. Oh ! Don't say that. Buck ! 

Buck. Well, what do you say? 

Dave. Let me get a cup of coffee first. Maybe 
I'll feel different with something in me. ( Upstage, 
Puts paper on mantel) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (From left enters, center, 
effusively. Buck crosses right below table) Oh, 
good-morning. I didn't know you was up yet. (She 
kisses him, smoothes his hair, etc.) 

Dave. (Takes paper from mantel) I must have 
overslept. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Oh, you needn't apologize. It 
was coming to you after the terrible experience you 
had on that train. (Calls) Nettie! 

Buck. She knows, Mrs. Brannigan. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Crosses to left of table) 
That reminds me, Mr. Ryder, you promised to bring 
me something back last night. 

Buck. I know I did, but I didn't get to see the 
man I was looking for. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Skeptically) That's what I 
thought. I suppose now you'll be saying good-bye 
right away. 



ROLLING STONES 39 

Buck. (After a moment's hesitation) Well, 
no — not if Mr. Braden here will help me out. 

Mrs. Brannigan. What's he got to do with it? 

Buck. Just a moment. {Crosses to Mrs. Bran- 
nigan) Pardon me just a moment. (Mrs. Bran- 
nigan crosses to front of table. Buck crosses to 
Dave) Mr. Braden, I'm a little hard pressed just 
now and since I'm going to work for you, perhaps 
you wouldn't mind letting me have a little advance 
on salary. 

Dave. {Throz^'S paper in chair) Sure — how 
much ? 

Buck. Oh, just about $65.00. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Why, I was only joking. 
{Crosses left to Dave. Buck goes right, enjoying 
it) I didn't know you were such friends, and of 
course if you're going to work for him 

Dave. Sure, we're going to work together. 
(Mrs. Brannigan turns sharply) I mean he's been 
mighty nice to me and I appreciate it. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Then of course it's all right. 
Now you run downstairs and get something to 
eat. 

Dave. That's what I've been waiting for. (Goes 
up center) 

Mrs. Brannigan. So you'll feel better when 
Mr. Rice comes. 

Dave. (Turns back) Who is Mr. Rice? 

Mrs. Brannigan. He's a lawyer and one of the 
executors for your estate. 

Dave. (Looking at Buck) I didn't know I had 
to have a lawyer. 

Mrs. Brannigan. W^hy, of course. You couldn't 
get a cent without a lawyer. Charlie has gone to 
fetch him. He'll be here in a minute. 

Dave. I see my finish. Coming, Buck ? 

Buck. No, thanks, Mr. Braden. I've had my 
breakfast. 



40 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. (As he goes out left) Well, don't go very 
far away, will you? 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Comes to table, straightens 
magazines) Course, you know we'll have to move 
you into the little inside room on the top floor. I'll 
have a cot put in for you. 

Buck. Any place will do me. 

(Buck down by left of sofa.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. Huh! It'll have to. (As she 
turns up-stage, Anna enters up center from stairs. 
She carries her hat as if about to go out) 

Anna. (In doorway) Good-morning, Mrs. 
Brannigan. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Good-morning. I thought 
you'd gone. 

Anna. Just leaving now. 

Buck. May I see you a moment? 

Anna. (Cross down l. to front of table) Oh, 
hello, Buck. 

Mrs. Brannigan. (With a glance of contempt) 
Huh ! (She exits center left. Buck goes to Anna) 

Anna. (Taking Buck's hand) I'm awfully 
glad you came back last night. You found your 
man, then? 

Buck. I found more than that. I found the 
chance I've been looking for, but I need your help. 

Anna. You must be joking. 

Buck. No, I'm not : I mean it. 

Anna. But how can I help you? 

Buck. That's what I'm going to explain, but 
first I want you to tell me that you'll stick ; that no 
matter what happens you'll come along. 

Anna. Why, Buck 

Buck. That's right, you started me, and what- 
ever I do is going to be for you — it's got to be for 



ROLLING STONES 41 

you. If it comes off and I make a pile quick, you'll 
share it with me. Is that understood? 

Anna. Why, of course. 

Buck. Well, then, if I play my cards for all 
they're worth, I can land a big position right in the 
same ofHce with you. 

Anna. Oh, Buck ! 

Buck. But to do it I must have all the informa- 
tion I can get about the Hewitt stores. I've got to 
be in a position to help this boy, to make him need 
me. Now, you've been with the firm a long time. 
You know all the inside stuff and any little tip you 
can give me 

Anna. Yes, indeed, I'll help you all I can. 

Buck. That's the talk. 

Brannigan. {Heard in hall r.) Come in, Mr. 
Rice. 

Anna. Oh, there's Mr. Brannigan. And I 
mustn't be late at the office. (Goes toward door up 
c.) 

Buck. (Follozvs her) But you haven't told me 
all I want to know. 

Anna. Then walk over with me. He can talk 
on the way. 

Buck. I can't come just this minute. I've 
promised Mrs. Brannigan I'd move into another 
room. I'll be over later. (Gets hat and coat) 

Anna. Oh, I do hope I can help you get this 
position. Perhaps Mr. Braden has brought you 
luck at last. 

Buck. It isn't all Braden, girlie. It's you. 

Brannigan. (Up c, e^iters from right) Hello! 
I thought you'd gone. 

Buck. (Cross to Brannigan) No, I'm staying 
on for a while. It's all fixed. 

Brannigan. Indeed? 

Buck. Yes, ask your boss. 

Brannigan. Who? 



42 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. Your wife. 

Brannigan. I shall. Come in, Mr. Rice. 

(Rice enters up c. Buck crosses, and zvhispers 
zvith Anna.) 

Rice. {Puts hat on table, crosses d. r.) Where 
is ? 

Brannigan. He must be downstairs. I'll go 
and see. (He goes out left) 

Anna. (Buck crosses d. l.) How do you do, 
Mr. Rice. {Cross r.) 

Rice. Bless me if it isn't Miss Anderson? 
{Shakes hands. Dozvn r.) 

Anna. Yes, sir, and this is Mr. Ryder. 

Buck. (Rice crosses) How do you do, Mr. 
Rice. I suppose you came to see Braden. He's 
having his breakfast. 

Rice. Don't disturb him. I don't mind waiting. 
{Crosses l. takes off coat, puts ir on chair) 

(Buck crosses up l. a bit.) 

Anna. Well, I must be going along. {Goes tip 
c.) Good-bye, Mr. Rice. 

Rice. Good-day, Miss Anderson. Good-day. 

Buck. {Up c. Shakes Anna's hand. Anna 
goes out right and Buck comes dozvn to Rice d. l.) 
Oh, Mr. Rice, perhaps I ought to tell you. Mr. 
Braden — he's rather nervous — being mixed up in 
that wreck, you know 

Rice. Was he hurt? 

Buck. No, not a bit — just upset. 

Rice. Naturally. 

Buck. Just wanted you to understand in case he 
acted queer or strange. 

Rice. Of course, of course. 

Buck. He'll be up in a minute. 



ROLLING STONES 43 

Rice. That's quite all right. (After a short 
pause, Mrs. Brannigan enters from l.) 
Mrs. Brannigan. Hello, Mr. Rice! 

(Buck crosses R., around table.) 

Rice. Good-morning, madam. (Takes her hand) 

Buck. I'm going to move my things right now, 
Mrs. Brannigan. (Exit up c. to l. upstairs) 

Rice. (To Mrs. Brannigan) Where is om- 
young friend? 

Mrs. Brannigan. He's just finishing. Didn't 
you bring my niece Norma along? (Cross R.) 

Rice. No, I thought it better to wait until after 
I'd seen him myself. 

Brannigan. (Enters from left, escorting Dave. 
Dave has napkin tucked in collar) Here it is. 
(Dave sees Rice. Starts to exit c. Brannigan 
turns him back) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Front of sofa. Brannigan 
crosses to her) Come right in, Mr. Braden. Meet 
Mr. Rice. 

Rice. (Going up to the reluctant Dave) Well, 
well. (Bringing Dave dozvn l. c.) So this is the 
young man, eh? I'm very glad to see you, sir. 

Dave. Thanks. (Down l. Takes his hand 
limply) 

Rice. You've had a most remarkable experience 
— most remarkable 

Dave. I should say I have ! 

Rice. But I'm thankful it was no worse. It 
might have been, you know, it might have been. 
You've had a very narrow escape. No ill effects, 
eh? You're feeling all right this morning? 

Dave. Well, I'm kind of nervous. 

Rice. Naturally, that was to be expected. (Eye- 
ing Dave reminiscently) Yes, there's quite a re- 
semblance. (To Brannigan) Don't you see it? 



44 ROLLING STONES 

{Takes Dave's chin in left hand and indicates with 
right) Same eyes — curve of the mouth. (To 
Dave as he slaps him on back) Fine fellow, your 
father. I knew him years ago. 

Dave. You did? 

Rice. We went to night-school together. He 
never mentioned that to you, I suppose. 

Dave. No, I never saw him nights. 

Rice. Oh, well, it was before your time, my boy, 
before your time. (Jabs Dave in ribs) Well, let's 
get down to business. Will you sit there, please, 
while I ask you a few questions ? ( Crosses r. above 
table) 

Dave. (Brannigan sits on sofa r. l. — Dave, 
uneasily) Where's Buck? 

Rice. Who? 

Dave. Buck — I left him here a minute ago. 

Mrs. Brannigan. He means Mr. Ryder. He's 
taken a fancy to him because he was the first to 
meet him last night. (Sits sofa l. end) 

Brannigan. Huh! Wait till he knows him 
better. 

(Mrs. Brannigan punches Brannigan.) 

Dave. I'd feel easier if he was around. 

Rice. (Takes out wallet, lays it on table. Crosses 
to Dave) Tut, tut, there's no occasion to feel 
nervous. This is merely a necessary formality and 
I want you to believe that I am quite as much your 
friend as I am your legal adviser. Now, sit down, 
please. (Dave sits l. of table) We will be as brief 
as possible. Just a few questions, that's all. (Sits 

«•) 

Dave. Hadn't we better wait till Buck comes 
back? 

Brannigan. Certainly not. This is purely a 
private matter between ourselves. 



ROLLING STONES 45 

Dave. Yes, but I don't know what you want me 
to do. 

Rice. (Takes out papers) Nothing that will 
cause you any strain. Mostly a matter of form. 
Will you let me have your papers, please? 

Dave. (Puts napkin on table) Papers? 

Rice. Certificate of birth, identification card 
prepared by your attorneys — surely you have 
them? 

Dave. No, don't think I have. 

Rice. What have you done with them? 

Dave. I don't know. 

Rice. You did have them? 

Dave. I suppose so, but I must have lost them. 

Brannigan. Lost them? (Up) 

Rice. Impossible. 

Dave. Oh, yes, I lost everything I had in that 
smash-up. (Catches breath after he sa\s ''smash- 

upn 

Mrs. Brannigax. (Up) Don't you remember 
where you put them? 

Dave. They might have been in my trunk. You 
see, I lost my clothes and everything I had. 

Rice. Dear, dear, this is most unfortunate. 

^Irs. Brannigan. What'll we do? 

Rice. I suppose we'll have to wait until we have 
communicated with his attorneys and instructed 
them to send on duplicates. (To Dave) I suggest 
that you wire them at once. (Dave rises) We can 
do nothing further until they arrive. 

Brannigan. (Crosses to r. of Rice) Can't we 
vouch for him? Why, you've just said he's the 
image of his father. And so long as we know who 
he is 

Rice. (Up) No, no, Mr. Brannigan, you must 
realize how impossible that is. Even if we were per- 
sonally convinced of his identity, we could do noth- 



46 ROLLING STONES 

ing for him without documentary proof. The law is 
very strict on that point. {To Dave) You under- 
stand, my boy — (Crosses to Dave. Puts wallet in 
his pocket) This is no reflection on you. We must 
wait, that's all. (Dave sits l. of table. Rice d. l.) 

Brannigan. Just a minute. (To Dave, as he 
crosses back of table) Did you say those things 
were in your trunks? 

Dave. I'm sure of it. 

Brannigan. Well, that's easy enough. The bag- 
gage car came through all right. Give me the check 
for the trunk, and I'll have it brought right up. 

Dave. Didn't I tell you I lost everything? 

Mrs. Brannigan. The check, too? 

Dave. Didn't save a thing. 

Brannigan. You could identify it, couldn't you? 
Must have your name or initials on it. 

Dave. Yes, but now that I think of it, those 
papers may not have been in it. 

Buck. (Puts coat and hat over hall balustrade. 
Enters center cheerily) May I come in? 

Dave. {Crosses up to Buck) Gee, I'm glad 
you're here ! {Up) 

Brannigan. {Backs to r. c.) Mr. Ryder, this 
conference is private — and 

Dave. {To Buck down l. of table) No, it isn't. 
Come on in. 

Buck. (Brannigan straightens chair r. of table) 
What's the matter? Anything wrong? 

Dave. (l. of Buck) Yes, there are some papers 
I ought to have, and I've lost them. 

Buck. Lost them? 

Dave. I lost everything I had in that smash-up, 
you know — smash-up ! 

Buck. That's too bad. 

Rice. Mr. Brannigan has suggested that the 
trunk might be found among the baggage at the 
station. 



ROLLING STONES 47 

Buck. {Starts up) Good idea. I'll go down 
with you and help pick it out. 

Brannigan. I can save Mr. Braden all that 
trouble. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Certainly, let Charlie go. 
He's got nothing else to do. 

Buck. Perhaps Mr. Braden prefers to go to him? 

Mrs. Brannigan. No, no, Mr. Rice wants to 
talk, to him, and it'll save lots of time. 

Brannigan. You will also please to remember 
that Mr. Braden is our guest. 

(Bell rings.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. Hurry up, Charlie. 

Brannigan. Yes, my dear. (Goes up. Dave 
and Buck cross belozv table c.) What kind of a 
trunk is it? 

(Brannigan crosses to Dave belozv table.) 

Dave. \\hy, it's a trunk with — with lots of 
things in it and 

Brannigan. A big one? 

Dave. No — just medium. 

Brannigan. (Nettie cross l. to r. in hall) 
Square or curved top? 

Dave. {Kiiots his fist, Buck restrains him) 
Ain't that funny? I can't remember whether it's 
got a curve or not. 

Brannigan. Well, I won't have any trouble find- 
ing it if it has your initials on it. [Cross r. around 
table to tip r. of door) 

Nettie. (Enters c. follozved by postman) He's 
in here. (To others) Registered letter for Mr. 
Braden. (She goes out again) 

Postman. (Crosses dozen to l. of table) Which 
is Mr. Braden? 



48 ROLLING STONES 

Mrs. Brannigan. This gentleman. 

Dave. What is it? What is it? 

Postman. Registered package for Jericho W. 
Braden. That's you, is it? (Gives letter) 

Buck. (Takes letter) That's him. 

Postman. (Brannigan crosses down toward 
Mrs. Brannigan) Sign here, will you? (Offering 
card to Dave) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Pushes Brannigan up- 
stage. Fixes things on desk up l. c.) You needn't 
wait, Charlie. 

Brannigan. I'm going, my dear, I'm going. 
(He goes out to r. Gets hat and overcoat from 
rack) 

Postman. Get busy, will you? I've got a long 
route to cover. 

Dave. Where do I sign? 

Postman. On this line. Your full name. 
Jericho W. Braden. (Gives Dave card) 

Dave. (To Buck) How do you spell Jericho? 

Buck. (Shozvs Dave name on envelope. Sotto 
voce) You damned fool ! 

(Dave signs; postman gives the card.) 

Dave. What, another? 

Postman. Yep. (Dave signs. Same business of 
looking at envelope in Buck's hand. Postman takes 
card from Dave) Thanks, that's all. (Goes out 
center to r.) 

Dave. That's enough. 

Buck. (Reading inscription on envelope) From 
Holt, Einstein and Necker, attorneys at law, Walla 
Walla. 

(Mrs. Brannigan comes dozvn to l. of sofa.) 

Rice. (A little towards Dave) Holt, Einstein, 
say, that's your firm, my boy. It might contain the 
very things we need. 



ROLLING STONES 49 

Mrs. Brannigan. Aren't you going to open it? 

Buck. (Starts to open, hands it to Dave. To 
Dave) You open it. 

Dave. (Starts to open) I guess Mr. Rice had 
better open it. (Handing package to Rice) 

Rice. (Taking it) Certainly, if you wish it. 
(They all watch him intently as he takes the contents 
out of the package and examines them. Turns l.) 
Bless my soul, we have everything here. Birth 
certificate, identification — all that is necessary. 
(Rice puts papers in pocket) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Claps her hands. Buck re- 
peats gesture) You must have left them behind 
and they've sent them on. 

Rice. They couldn't have come at a more op- 
portune time. My boy, I congratulate you. (Shakes 
Dave's hand) This will enable me to put you in 
possession at once. (Up for coat on chair before 
fire) 

Mrs. Brannigan. And Charlie's gone after the 
trunk. I'll send Nettie down to tell him. (She 
runs out center to l.) 

Dave. What do I have to do now? 

Rice. (Dozen l.) Make yourself ready. I'll 
take you over to the Hewitt office and introduce you 
to the heads of the various departments. (Puts on 
coat) 

Dave. Can't my friend come with me ? 

Rice. Certainly. Bring anybody you like. 

Dave. Well, come on, Buck, let's get a crowd. 

Rice. (Crosses to table for hat) My boy, you 
can't know what a relief this is to me. Not that I 
doubted you for a moment, but — well, I congratulate 
you. (Shakes Dave's hands) It's a wonderful 
stroke of fortune, and I know you'll prove yourself 
worthy of it. I congratulate you again. (Crosses 
up to L. Shakes hands) 



50 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. (Dave puts right hand behind back. 
Buck takes it and shakes) Me, too, it's great ! 

Rice. (Coming dozvn front of table. Pausing 
suddenly) Oh, by the way, perhaps it would be just 
as well to have you meet Miss Noggs before we go. 
She lives only a short distance from here. 

Dave. Miss who? 

Rice. Miss Noggs, your fiancee. 

Dave. My what? 

Rice. She has been very anxious to see you, but 
I thought it inadvisable to have you meet until these 
other matters were out of the way. 

Dave. What has she got to do with me? 

Rice. (Surprised) My boy, don't tell me that 
your attorneys have left you ignorant on such an 
important point. 

Dave. You mean I'm supposed to marry some 
girl ? 

Buck. What did you expect to marry? A hip- 
popotamus ? 

Rice. She is a very sweet and charming young 
lady. I've known her mother for a great many 
years. You're sure to find each other congenial. 
(Starts up. Dave grabs him, and brings him down- 
stage ) 

Dave. But wait a minute — when do I have to do 
this? 

Rice. Your marriage must take place within a 
period of six months dating from Mr. Hewitt's 
death. 

Buck. That's easy. 

(Rice and Dave come down.) 

Rice. Of course, your presence here would in- 
dicate that you were prepared to accept that con- 
dition of the will. 



ROLLING STONES 51 

Buck. Certainly — he understands that. (To 
Dave) Don't you, old man? 

(Dave looks at him and then zvalks azvay. Crosses 
L. to fire, too full for utterance. Leans against 
mantel, back to audience.) 

Dave. Oh, yes I understand it- 



RiCE. It's not very far ! I'll bring her back with 
me. {He goes out center to r.) 

Buck. (r. of table, leaning over it) Isn't it im- 
mense? I tell you — (Crosses up to arch c.) it's com- 
ing our way at last. 

Dave. (Turns zvith a deliberation that chills 
Buck's enthusiasm) Buck, it's cold. 

Buck. What is? 

Dave. This whole thing. I can't go through with 
it. 

Buck. (Crosses down to Dave) Don't be a fool. 

Dave. A fool, eh? How'd you like to be tied to 
a dame that had to be taken in trade like a prize 
package ? 

Buck. I'll be tickled to death at the chance. 

Dave. (Crosses to r. Buck follozvs) Well, 
here's your chance. I stake you to her — yes, and to 
this whole business. I don't want any part of it. 

Buck. Say, what's the matter with you? If you 
didn't intend to go through, why did you lead us all 
on like this? (Front of table r.) 

Dave. I didn't know what I was letting myself 
in for. And when it comes to marrying a girl that 
I don't even know 

Buck. But you don't have to marry her ! 

Dave. (Sits on sofa) You heard what old 
fozzle-face said, didn't you? 

Buck. (Crosses to l. of sofa) He said six 
months. Well, a lot can happen in six months. 

Dave. You know it ! 



52 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. All you have to do now is to say you'll 
marry her. 

Dave. It's no use, Buck. I thought I could go 
through with it, but I can't. 

Buck. Oh, just because a girl is mentioned you're 
going to lay down, are you? 

Dave. 'Tisn't only the girl — it's the game. We 
can't get away with a thing like this. (Buck im- 
patiently crosses to front of table. Rises) That 
registered package didn't come here by chence, and 
I've committed forgery already. {Doivn to R. of 
Buck) 

Buck. Forgery ? 

Dave. Didn't you make me sign for that letter? 

Buck. That's done every day in the week. 

Dave. I signed another fellow's name just the 
same. 

Buck. Oh, you make me tired! {Crosses l. 
Dave starts to get hat on stand r.) 

Brannigan. (Enters c. from R. quickly. Crosses 
to back of table) Well, I got your trunk. 

Buck. His trunk ! 

Dave. What? 

Brannigan. (Crosses down to Dave) And you 
were right about it. Little square one — dark brown. 

Dave. Must be a mistake. 

Brannigan. No, it's got your name on it — 
spelled out. 

Dave. How'd you get it? 

Brannigan. Oh, just explained the circum- 
stances to the baggage-master and he let me take it. 
Where'll I put it? 

Dave. Aw ! Put it in 

Brannigan. In your room? 

Dave. Yes. 

Brannigan. Give me the key and I'll open it for 
you. 

Dave. I'll be there myself in a minute. 



ROLLING STONES 53 

Brannigan. All right. {He goes out right 
again ) 

(Dave and Buck look at each other for a moment.) 

Dave. I'm going away from here. {He starts 
for door, but Buck seises him) 

Buck. What for? 

Dave. Don't you see what's going to happen? 

Buck. What? 

Dave. First that registered package and now the 
trunk. Why, that guy will be here before we get 
to the corner. 

Buck. I don't think so. 

Dave. I don't care what you think, I'm going. 

Buck. {Bringing Dave d. r.) Don't be a fool. 
Those things coming as they did just prove what 
I've thought. There's no doubt now that Braden 
was on that train. 

Dave. You bet he was. 

Buck. Yes, and he was killed. Fate has thrown 
this thing right into our hands. Don't you see, 
Dave? All we have to do now is to play the game 
straight. 

Dave. How can we play the game straight, if it's 
crooked? {Sits on sofa) 

Buck. {Leans over end of sofa) There's the 
trunk. Rice has the papers which prove you are 
Braden. They've accepted you for him. Nobody'll 
ever know any different ! 

Dave. If I listen to you any more, I'll go bug- 
house. 

Norma. {Enters center from r. A very pretty 
blonde girl of the ingenue type. She is follozved by 
Rice, ivho crosses back of table. She greets Buck 
effusively) I'm so glad to meet you at last ! (Down 

R.) 



54 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. Thanks, but I think you've got the wrong 
fellow. 

(Dave rises and starts toward door r.) 

Rice. That gentleman is Mr. Ryder. This is 
Mr. Braden. (Dozvn l.) 

Norma. (To Buck) Oh, excuse me — I'm sorry. 

Buck. (Crosses to Rice back of table c.) Don't 
mention it. 

Norma. (Crosses to Dave) You're Jerry 
Braden, aren't you? (Dave goes to door r.) I 
might have guessed it, only I didn't see you first. 

Dave. (Taking her hand) How are you? 

Norma. Don't you know who I am? 

Dave. Sure. 

Norma. Well, then, aren't you going to kiss me? 

Dave. (Looks at Buck, who motions him to go 
through 7mth it) What? 

Norma. I'm your fiancee, you know. (She holds 
tip her lips to be kissed, and Dave pecks at them) 
My, you're awfully shy, aren't you? But then — 
Western men are so different. 

Rice. (Starts to c.) Mr. Ryder and I will wait 
outside) 

Buck. Sure. 

Dave. No, what for? (Crosses up) 

Rice. (Exit c. to l.) You must have something 
to say to each other. 

Buck. Yes, and you'll have a chance to get 
acquainted. 

Dave. Don't leave me alone. 

Buck. Oh, we'll be back — we'll be back. (Exits 
c. to L.) 

Dave. Have a heart ! 

Norma. (Sits right end of sofa) You're not 
afraid of me, are you? 



ROLLING STONES 55 

Dave. No, but I had something important to tell 
Buck. 

Norma. Buck? Is that what you call him? 

Dave. I'd hate to tell you what I'd like to call 
him. 

Norma. There's a lot in names. Yours just fits 
you. I think " Jerry " is terribly cunning. 

Dave. (r. of table) Jerry sounds like half a 
drink. 

Norma. Come on over here and sit by me. {He 
hesitates. Norma r. Dave l. As he sits by her) 
You know, I'm awfully glad you're good-looking. 

Dave. Did you take a good look? 

Norma. Now I won't have to pretend at all. 

Dave. Pretend ? 

Norma. Of course, it wouldn't have made any 
difference, but I'd made up my mind if you weren't 
nice I'd pretend to like you anyway. 

Dave. Why ? 

Norma. So you wouldn't feel badly about it. It 
must be awful to be married to a woman who 
doesn't like you. 

Dave. Oh, you're going to marry me, are you? 

Norma. No, you're going to marry me? 

Dave. What's the difference? 

Norma. A girl can't ask the man, can she? 

Dave. I don't know — you're a new one on me. 
{They laugh. He looks up-stage at door) 

Norma. (Sitting back comfortably) Anyway, 
it's so much nicer to have it all arranged for us like 
this, don't you think so? 

Dave. It doesn't seem to matter what I think. 

Norma. Oh, yes it does, because I want you to 
like me. 

Dave. That's not very hard. You're young and 
pretty, and if it wasn't for this money thing you 
might shape up all right. 

Norma. It's the money that makes it so easy. 



56 ROLLING STONES 

It's so much easier to be in love when one is com- 
fortable. 

Dave. Gee, but you're mercenary. 

Norma. Not at all. I'm just sensible. Mother 
says that money is the only thing that counts, and 
she ought to know because we've been as poor as 
church mice all our lives. Anyway, we don't have 
to think of that, do we ? 

Dave. No ! Why not ? 

Norma. Because you like me and I like you. 

Dave. But you wouldn't like me if I wasn't 
Braden, would you? 

Norma. Oh, yes I would. 

Dave. But you wouldn't marry me. 

Norma. I might. 

Dave. If I didn't have a cent? 

Norma. Yes. 

Dave. (Takes her hand) Oh, gee. 

Norma. If mother didn't object. 

Dave. {Walking azvay l. Below table) I 
thought there was a string to that. 

Norma. But what's the use arguing about it? 
Mother doesn't object and we're going to have lots 
of money. (Crosses to Dave belozv table) When 
do you think we ought to get married ? 

Dave. (In front of table c.) Oh, in about six 
months. 

Norma. Not before? 

Dave. Well, if you feel that you just can't live 
without me, fix it up to suit yourself. 

Norma. Oh, goody. (Pats his cheek, kisses him) 
I'm awfully glad. (Kisses him. Dave hugs her) 

Dave. You're some girl, all right! (Does a 
couple of fancy steps over left — straightens tie, etc. 
Tries to button coat — bus.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. (Enter center. Dozvn r. 
Norma extreme r.) My dear girl, I'm so glad to 
see you. Isn't it wonderful, the escape he had ? 



ROLLING STONES 57 

Norma. Too wonderful for words. 

(Rice enters foUozved by Buck. Rice crosses to 
back of table. Puts dozvn hat. Buck crosses 
D. L. to Dave.) 

Rice. Have you finished? 

Norma. (Going to Rice) Yes, he's left it all 
to me. 

Rice. I knew you'd have your own way. 
Buck. (To Dave, extreme l.) How about it? 

(L.) 

Dave. I'm going through. 

Buck. Fine! (They shake hands) 

Rice. (Back of table) I think we'd better all 
go along now. It's nearly noon. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I'm ready. Where's Charlie? 
(Brannigan enters. Crosses dozvn betzi'een sofa 
and table) Where have you been? 

Brannigan. I was waiting for Mr. Braden. 
Thought he wanted to open his trunk, (r.) 

Buck. By the way, Mr. Rice, you might be 
interested to know that Mr. Braden has appointed 
me his general manager. 

Rice. What? 

Buck. Fact. 

Brannigan. General manager? (Dozx.m r. left 
of Mrs. Brannigan) 

Rice. Isn't it rather sudden? 

Brannigan. I object. I most decidedly object. 

Buck. Where do you come in to object to any- 
thing ? 

Brannigan. I won't have my niece's money 
squandered on a man like you. 

Dave. (Cross to Buck — to Rice) It's going to 
be my money, isn't it? 

Rice. (l. of table) Really, I think you ought 
to consider such an important matter, quite ser- 
iously. 



58 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. I can't do without Buck; he's got to be 
my manager. 

Rice. With all due respect to Mr. Ryder, I think, 
you're placing him in a very responsible position. 

Dave. That's just what 1 want. I want him to 
have all the responsibility — and a good salary, too. 
How much salary do you want, Buck? 

Buck. Why — I hadn't thought. 

Rice. The position of general manager carries a 
fixed salary. 

Dave. That's all right. You have no objection 
to a fixed salary, have you? 

Buck. Oh, no indeed. 

Dave. And you can fix mine, too. 

Rice. Your allowance will cover that. 

Dave. Allowance ? How much allowance is it to 
be? 

Rice. Don't be alarmed. It will be sufficient for 
your needs until the conditions of the will are met. 

Dave. It's all right as long as it's fixed. 

Rice. However, we can discuss all this some 
other time. Do you think we can find a taxi near 
here? 

(Dave joins Norma back of table. Buck crosses 

D. L.) 

Mrs. Brannigan. Certainly. Charlie, run and 
fetch a taxi. 

Brannigan. We can't all get in one taxi. 

Mrs. Brannigan. Then get two taxis. 

Brannigan. Oh! Very well. (Exits) 

Dave. Has anyone got an extra overcoat ? Mme 
is at the cleaner's. 

Mrs. Brannigan. I'll make Charlie give you his. 

Dave. That'll be nice. (Rice crosses to front 
of sofa. Mrs. Brannigan goes out center, fol- 
faces Jap, who says '" How d'ye do? " He glares at 



ROLLING STONES 59 

Dave, who passes him unconcernedly, and then 
comes down l.) 

Buck. Hello, Walter. You missed all the ex- 
citement. 

Jap. (Takes off hat) That so? (l.) 

Buck. Yes, you know Miss Noggs — and Mr. 
Rice 

Jap, Tve been looking for Mr. Rice. (Down l.) 

Rice. For me? 

Jap. Yes, sir. I went to your office, but you 
weren't — (Crosses to r. to Rice) there, so I called 
at the Hewitt stores and Miss Anderson told me 
she had left you here. May I see you a minute? 

Rice. Well, we are just leaving 

Jap. This is very important. 

Rice. Very well. (Goes up to Norma and 
escorts her info the hall l.) Norma, dear, would 
you mind joining Mrs. Brannigan for a moment? 

Buck. (Crosses left to table) I just want to tell 
you that I've got something at last. 

Jap. (Takes off coat and puts hat and coat on 
chair r. of table) That so? 

Buck. Braden has made me his general manager. 

Jap. What? 

Buck. I've been looking for a chance like this all 
my life and Braden has given it to me. 

Jap. What do you know about Braden? 

Buck. I know all about him. And we're going 
to make this business hum. 

Jap. (Takes step r.) Don't make me laugh. 

Buck. Nothing to it. Now, I'll tell you what 
I'll do. You're a pretty good sort and I'd like to 
do something for you. How would you like to work 
for us? 

Jap. (Turns quickly) What? 

(Rice enters.) 



6o ROLLING STONES 

Buck. I'll start you off on ten a week and you'll 
get practical experience. 

Rice. {Crossing dozen l. of table) Will you 
excuse us, Mr. Ryder? 

Buck. Certainly. (Crossing up r. of table) 
What do you say? 

Jap. I'll think about it. 

Buck. All right. The job is open for you at any 
time. See you later. {Takes hat and coat and goes 
out center, turning tozvard the street) 

Rice. Well ? 

Jap. {Crosses front of table) It's something 
you won't believe. It's about this fellow who calls 
himself Braden. 

Rice. Who calls himself? 

Jap. Exactly: he's a crook. He's no more 
Braden than you are. 

Rice. My dear young man, I must ask you 

Jap. I know what I'm saying and I can prove 
every word of it. I tell you this fellow is an im- 
postor. 

Rice. How do you know? 

Jap, Because I'm Jerry Braden. 

Rice. {Turns l.) You? Impossible. 

Jap. I didn't expect you to believe me. 

Rice. Yes, but I've seen his papers. The birth 
certificate — everything. 

Jap. They were mine. They were intended for 
me. He's got my trunk, too. I went down to the 
station and they told me that somebody had already 
called for it. 

Rice. But if what you say is true ? 

Jap. It is true. See here. (Takes letter and 
card from pocket) Here are some letters from my 
attorneys. (Rice looks at papers) Here's my 
identification card. There's my picture on it. You 
don't have to take my word for it. 

Rice. But what possible reason could you have 



ROLLING STONES 6i 

had for concealing your identity? You've been 
here several days. 

Jap. I can't go into that now, but I had a good 
reason for it, all right. 

Rice. (Handing back his papers) I really must 
have something more to go on than this. 

Jap. What more do you want? You knew my 
father. He told me that you went to night-school 
together. Surely you are willing to help the son 
of your old friend? 

Rice. I am if you can give me better proof. 

Jap. Let me ask you something. Has anybody 
vouched for this impostor? 

Rice, li you mean Mr. Braden 

Jap. I mean this impostor. How did he get here 
anyway ? 

Rice. I believe that Mr. Ryder was the first to 
meet him. 

Jap. Don't you see ? They framed it up between 
them. Why should he make Ryder his general 
manager — a man he never saw before? Does that 
seem reasonable to you ? 

Rice. Perhaps not, but I've always heard that 
western boys are unusually impulsive. (Turns azvay 
to L.) 

Jap. Western? I'll bet he's never been further 
West than Joliet. 

(Anna enters in hall from r.) 

Anna. Is Mr. Ryder here ? 

Jap. (Suddenly, as he sees Anna in hall) Oh, 
Miss Anderson. 

Anna. Yes? 

Jap. Just a minute. (To Rice) Now, I'll show 
you something. 

Anna. (Coming dozvn rigJit) Yes? 

Jap. (At left of table) Miss Anderson, you were 



62 ROLLING STONES 

Mr. Hewitt's confidential secretary for several years 
and attended to his private correspondence? 

Anna. Most of it. 

Jap. Do you remember a gift that Mr. Hewitt 
sent to young Braden's father about two years ago? 

Anna. I think so. 

Jap. What was it? 

Anna. It was a gold watch. 

Jap. Would you recognize it if you saw it? 

Anna. I ought to — Mr. Hewitt had worn it ever 
since I knew him. 

Jap. (Taking zvatch from pocket and shozving it 
to her) Is that it? 

Anna. (Cross look at zvatch) Yes, where did 
you get it ? 

Jap. (Triumphantly to Rice) Now are you 
satisfied ? 

Rice. Bless my soul, I don't know what to do ! 

Jap. The principal thing to do now is to nab 
this fellow before he gets out of the house. 

Rice. But how? 

Jap. Get a policeman and have them both 
arrested for conspiracy. 

Rice. Both of them? 

Jap. Certainly. Ryder is just as guilty as the 
other fellow. I'll watch them until you get back. 

Anna. Ryder — guilty? 

Rice. Yes, that'll be best. Bless my soul, I never 
dreamed of such a thing as this. (Gets hat from 
table. He goes out. Jap cross to helozso chair by 
fire) 

Anna. (Crossing tozvard door up c. Then dozvn 
to Jap) What is he going to do? Of what is Buck 
guilty ? 

Jap. I'm sorry. Miss Anderson, but you may as 
well know now, because it will all come out in court 
anyway. Ryder has gotten himself in bad. He has 



ROLLING STONES 63 

conspired with this other fellow to get hold of a 
business that doesn't belong to him. 

Anna. {Crosses toward Jap) Why, it can't be. 
I don't believe it. 

Jap. You believe I'm Braden, don't you? 

Anna. I suppose you are if Mr. Rice says so, 
but I know that Mr. Ryder wouldn't do anything 
wrong. I'm sure he's innocent. 

Jap. {Turns azvay) Well, he'll have to prove it. 

Anna. He will prove it. I'll find him and bring 
him here. {She crosses up) He'll convince you 
that he's done nothing wrong. {She goes up-stalrs, 
as Brannigan appears center) 

Brannigan. {Enters c. from r. ivith hat, gloves, 
muffler, hut zvithout overcoat) I've got the taxi. 
Two of them. Where is everybody? 

Mrs. Brannigan. {Enters c. from l.) I'm 
ready. 

Brannigan. You know, these taxis charge for 
every minute. {He goes out right) 

Mrs. Brannigan. W^here's Mr. Braden? {Goes 
off r.) 

Norma. {Coming from left zcith Dave. Dave 
wears Brannigan's overcoat) I've got him. He's 
going to sit with me. 

Dave. Wait till I get my hat. {Runs down, 
stands above sofa r.) 

Norma. Oh, hello, Mr. Walter. 

Jap. 'Morning, Miss Noggs. 

Norma. {Up c. near door, stopping Dave) 
Just a minute, Jerry. {Turns him into room. Dave 
goes to her, and takes her hand) Oh, Mr. Walter? 

Jap. Yes. 

Norma. {Takes Dave dozvn to Jap) I v/ant 
you to meet my fiance. 

Jap. Your what? 

Norma. Mr. Braden. We're going to get mar- 
ried, you know. 



64 ROLLING STONES 

Jap. Married? To him? 

Dave. Yes, I'm going to be little hubby. Come 
on, girlie. Come on — come on. (Turns and goes 
out R. Norma starts to follozv) 

Jap. Oh, Miss Noggs ! {She turns, comes down 
L. of table) Did you say you were really going to 
marry that fellow ? 

Norma. Certainly. 

Jap. Why, that fixes the whole thing. Hurray! 
{Crosses c. r.) 

Norma. Why, what's the matter? (l. of table) 

Jap. When are you going to do it? {Crosses 
belozv table) Marry him, I mean. 

Norma. I won't know till I see mother. She'll 
want us to wait, I suppose, but I don't believe in 
long engagements, do you? 

Jap. No, not in this case. 

Norma. So many things can happen. That's 
why I think we ought to get married in a month or 
so. Don't you think that's a good idea? 

Jap. It's a wonderful idea. But why wait a 
whole month? 

Norma. What ? 

Jap. Why not in a week — to-morrow? 

Norma. {Backs away a step) Oh, that wouldn't 
be decent. We've only just met. 

Jap. Well, as soon as possible, anyway. 

Dave. {Entering quickly up c. from r.) Come 
on, girlie. They're waiting for us. 

(Norma crosses up l. of table.) 

Jap. {Circles r. around table; grabs Dave, and 
brings him down r.) I congratulate you. I con- 
gratulate you both. I think it's great. Immense. 

Dave. Thanks. You'll excuse me 

Jap. Sure, run along! {Goes r.) 

Dave. {As he goes up with Norma) Who is 



ROLLING STONES 65 

that crazy guy? (As they pass Rice, zvho seises his 
arm, having entered quickly) Oh! Mr. Rice. The 
taxis are here. 

Rice. Yes, I saw them. But I want to see you. 

Norma. Then you'll have to see him outside. 
Everybody is waiting. {She goes out zvith Dave 
R.) Come on. 

Dave. Good-bye — good-bye. 

Rice. (Back of table) Where is he going? 

Jap. He's going to the office to begin his career 
as boss of the Hewitt candy stores. 

Rice. Then we're just in time to prevent him. I 
have an officer waiting outside to arrest him. {Goes 
tip) 

Jap. Stop him ! Don't let that officer touch him. 

Rice. What? {Crosses down l.) 

Jap. {Crosses c. to Rice) I don't want them 
molested, do you understand? Let them go as far 
as they like. Nobody is to know anything about this. 
Tell that cop there's nothing doing. 

Rice. Yes, but for what reason? 

Jap. The best reason in the world. He's going to 
marry her. 

Rice. What ? 

Jap. {Catching himself. Goes r. a step) No — 
no, I mean 

Anna. {Coming down-stairs, crosses r. of 
table) I couldn't find him but you've got to give 
him a chance. 

Jap. That's just what I'm going to do. I'm going 
to give them both a chance. 

Anna. You are, really? 

Jap. But on one condition. That you don't let 
them know that any of us suspect them. Is that a 
bargain ? 

Anna. Yes. 

Jap. No word, no sign — no warning — your word 
of honor. 



66 ROLLING STONES 

Anna. My word of honor. 

Jap. Pine. {Auto horn) So long, Tve got to 
catch up with them. (Gets hat and coat. Crosses 
up c.) 

Rice. Where are you going? 

Jap. (Exit up c. to r.) I'm going to work for 
them. 

Curtain 



ACT III 



Scene: The offices of the Hezvitt Candy Stores. 
The entrance to office is through a door u. c, 
on either side of which are deepset shelves con- 
taining candy boxes and other samples of the 
firm's products, d. l. is another door which 
leads to the other offices and shipping depart- 
ment, u. R. is a practical windozv which opens 
on the fire-escape, and through which can be 
seen the buildings on the opposite side of the 
street, u. r. is a safe, set in the zvall; this safe 
is practical and constructed for a breakaway. 
There is a desk on the right side of stage and 
another u. l., both having telephones and the 
usual zvriting materials. 

At rise: Buck is discovered seated back of desk 
at r. a Clerk, who is standing back to 
audience, writes on pad. Dave is seated at desk 
u. L. busily engaged in opening his mail. 

Buck. (Writes out order, and handing it to 
clerk) Give that to Mr. Strawbridge and tell him 
to get it out at once. 

(Clerk takes the order from Buck and starts 
away.) 



ROLLING STONES d'j 

Clerk. {As tozvards door c.) Yes, sir? 
Dave. (Suddenly rising zvith an open letter in 
his hand) Here, wait a minute. 

Buck. {As the Clerk stops and turns inquir- 
ingly to Dave) What's the matter now? 

Dave. You know that letter I sent to the Secre- 
tarv of the Navy? 

Buck. What letter? 

Dave. Telling him the quickest way to make the 
men stop drinking in the navy was to have them eat 
our peanut brittle ? 

Buck. Yes — and I told you you were crazy. 

Dave. Crazy, eh ? Well, here's an order for one 
hundred thousand pounds, that's all. 

Buck. Gee whiz ! 

Dave. We are doing business with the Govern- 
ment, my boy. {Handing letter to the Clerk) 
Shoot this down to the shipping department, and 
tell them to send it to the Paymaster at the Brooklyn 
Navy Yard. (Clerk takes the letter and goes out 
c.) Guess I'm not some business man! 

Jap. {Entering d. l. crosses to c.) Say, Ryder — = 
{Has order blank and pencil in hand — Coat and 
vest off) 

Buck. Yes ? 

Jap. What do you want me to do about that 
Fleighenheim Department Store order? 

Buck. What's the matter with it? 

Jap. They say they won't accept it unless it's 
packed in their own boxes and labelled " Fleighen- 
heim's Special Candies." 

Buck. Why weren't they shipped that way in the 
first place? 

Jap. Must have been a mistake in the shipping 
department. 

Buck. That's Strawbridge again. If we hadn't 
promised Mr. Rice to keep everybody, I'd fire that 
old fellow mighty quick. {Interrupted by telephone 



6S ROLLING STONES 

bell ringing. Taking up the receiver on telephone 
desk -R.) Hello — who? Yes, he's here. (Offers the 
telephone to Dave) For you, Mr. Braden. 

Jap. (Stepping forzvard) For me? 

Buck. No: Mr. Braden. 

Jap. (Recovering himself) Oh! 

Dave. (Crosses to 'phone — and with mouthful of 
candy) Hello — yes, this is Mr. Braden. Who is 
this, please? What — Mrs. Sinclair? 

Buck. (Quickly) She's President of the United 
Welfare Societies ! 

Dave. (At telephone) Oh, yes — the young Mrs. 
Sinclair. How are all the little welfare children? 
I remember you quite well. Yes, I know all about 
that order. How many? Eighty thousand pounds 
of mixed? (Jap and Buck are overzvhelmed) 
Will that be enough? — Oh, certainly, you can in- 
crease it at any time — Yes, I will have it sent over to 
your headquarters immediately — FU carry it over 
myself — Thank you — How are the children ? — Good- 
bye. (Hangs up receiver) 

Jap. Gee, that makes over two hundred thousand 
pounds for that one society alone. 

Buck. That's the result of our minimum wage 
advertisement. 

Dave. Oh! I don't know. I have a way with 
these ladies. 

Jap. Say, if business is so good, don't you think 
I could get a little more money? 

Dave. What's the idea? You're getting more 
than you're worth now. (Telephone rings desk l. 
Dave at telephone) Hello, Hewitt Candy Factory 
— Mr. Braden, proprietor, speaking — Who? — Yes, 
he's here — Who wants him? Won't give your 
name — Oh, it's a secret? (Turns to Jap) Some 
lady wants to speak to you, Walter. 

Jap. To me? (He takes the 'phone) 



ROLLING STONES 69 

(Buck comes around desk to r. of Dave.) 

Dave. (Turning to Buck — both are r. of 'phone) 
That's the third time to-day. 

Jap. (At telephone) Oh, hello — what? — No, I 
can't get over just now — I know you are lonesome 
but please have a little patience — (He becomes con- 
scious of the tzvo boys watching him intently) I 
can't say anything over the 'phone. I'll be back 
around five. (Hangs up receiver) 

Buck. (Accusingly) Is that business? 

Jap. No, just a friend of mine. 

Dave. Yes, a lady friend — at the Hotel Raleigh. 

Jap. How did you know? 

Dave. She calls you up about five or six times a 
day. 

Buck. Now take our advice and cut her out. 

Jap. How do you mean? 

Dave. No man can attend to business and have 
his mind on a woman. 

Jap. Yes, but 

Buck. You needn't explain. Just take our tip 
and cut her out. 

Dave. Cut her out. 

Jap. (Hesitates for a moment, then accepts the 
inez'itable) Thank you, gentlemen. (Exits d. l.) 

Dave. (Going l.) Can you beat his nerve? 
Monkeying around with dames on his salary! 

Buck. (Crosses to his desk r.) That's the only 
thing I don't like about him. 

Dave. (At water cooler) You know, it wouldn't 
surprise me at all if that fellow turned out to be a 
crook. 

Buck. Oh, nonsense. 

Dave. (Starts to take drink at water cooler) 
Well, I don't like my employees having women call 
them during business hours. It's not being done. 



70 ROLLING STONES 

(Clerk enters through center door.) 

Clerk. Excuse me, Mr. Braden, but Miss Noggs 
wants to see you. 

Dave. Miss Noggs — where is she? 

Clerk. Downstairs in an automobile. 

Dave. Tell her I'll be right down. (Clerk exits 
c. Dave takes hat and coat from rack) Well, I 
guess I'll call it a day. (He starts for center door) 

Buck. Where are you going? 

Dave. Joy-riding. 

Buck. {Trying to stop Dave) Here, wait a 
minute. 

Dave. Oh, you always spoil my pleasure. (Coin- 
ing dozi'n center) What's the matter now? 

Buck. (Comes around desk to r. of Dave) I'll 
tell you what's the matter. You're making a joke of 
this whole business. 

Dave. How do you mean? 

Buck. This girl. You're rushing her as if it were 
the real thing. 

Dave. It is the real thing. 

Buck. What? 

Dave. I'm off my dip about her. Honest — she's 
got me clean daffy. 

Buck. Say, you haven't gone bughouse, have 
you? 

Dave. I don't know^I'm in love, all right. 

Buck. What? 

Dave. Nothing to it. I'm gone — I'm all hers. 
(Buck turns away in amazement) You know you 
ought to sympathize with me. When a fellow is in 
love, he's just helpless. 

Buck. What about the girl? Suppose she falls 
in love with you? 

Dave. No suppose to it: she does. 

Buck. She does? 

Dave. We're going to be married, too. 



ROLLING STONES 71 

Buck. You are? 

Dave. Sure, we decided on that the day we first 
met. 

Buck. But that was supposed to be a stall. 

Dave. Well, it hasn't worked out that way. Any- 
way, she's entitled to all this money. 

Buck. Certainly. 

Dave. And it's the only way I can give it to her. 

Buck. That's not a bad idea. I've been worry- 
ing a good deal about that little girl and this money 
thing. This way she'll get the whole business. 

Dave. Oh, you'll come in for a share, too. 

Buck. No, Dave, I'll be content to string along 
on a salary. I'm thankful enough to be where I am 
and have my feet on the ground. 

Dave. I'm going to have my feet in an automo- 
bile. 

Clerk. {Enters center) Miss Noggs wants to 
know if you're coming down? 

(Buck crosses to his desk.) 

Dave. Sure. {Goes up as Clerk goes out and 
turns to Buck) She's sore. Now, you see. I'll 
blame it on you. {Goes out center) 

Buck. All right. 

Anna. {Enters l. and goes to Dave's desk) I 
think I left my memorandum on Mr. Braden's desk. 
{Gets memorandum) Yes, here it is. {Starts to- 
ward door D. L.) 

Buck. Oh — er — Anna, what's your hurry? 

Anna. I have a lot of work to get out before 
closing time. 

Buck. You used to do a lot of work in here. 

Anna. I've found out that I do more work out 
there. {She starts for door) 

Buck. Don't go. I want to talk to you. {Starts 
around desk to her. He stops as Denison enters 



j2 ROLLING STONES 

through center door) Yes, sir, what can I do for 
you? (To Denison) 

Denison. (Coming down to r. of him) Are you 
Mr. Braden? 

Buck. No, sir. My name's Ryder. 

Denison. I'd like to see Mr. Braden. 

Buck. He's not in, but Vm his manager. 

Denison. My business is personal. When will 
he be in? Half an hour or so? 

Buck. Perhaps. 

Denison. I'll call again. (He turns upstage) 

Buck. Want to leave any word ? 

Denison. No. 

Buck. Name? 

Denison. (Stops and looks at Anna) Oh, he 
wouldn't know me. I'll try again later. (He goes 
out center. Buck is mystified for a moment, then 
turns to Anna) 

Buck. Ever see that man before? 

Anna. Not that I remember. 

Buck. H'm, wonder what he wanted? (Then 
quickly to Anna as she turns to leave) Just a 
minute, Anna. (Meets her at desk l.) Now, I 
don't like the way you've been treating me lately. 
What's the matter? Aren't you satisfied with the 
way we're running the business? 

Anna. (Evasively) I ought to be. 

Buck. You ought to be, but you're not. Come 
on, let's have it out. What's on your mind ? 

Anna. Nothing — really 

Buck. (Holding her firmly) You can't fool me. 
I've done something to make you unhappy. Why, 
you avoid me every chance you get. I never get to 
speak to you alone any more. Even last night when 
I waited to take you home you insisted on bringing 
Walter along with you. Now, why is it? 

Anna. I wish you wouldn't ask me. Buck. 

Buck. I've got to know, Anna. You know what 



ROLLING STONES 73 

I think of you and you must feel the same toward 
me, or you wouldn't have acted as you did that night 
at the Brannigans'. Why have you changed? You 
must have some reason for it. Don't you care for 
me any more? 

Anna. Oh, yes, it isn't that 

Buck. Then why don't you marry me? I'm 
getting a decent salary now, enough to keep us 
going, and when the business is turned over to 
Braden I'll get a bigger one. 

Anna. There are so many things I must know 
first. 

Buck. You took me on trust in the beginning. 

Anna. (Starts to go) That was different. Oh, 
please let me go. Buck. 

Buck. Just one thing and I'll be satisfied. Do 
you love me? 

Anna. (After a pause) Yes. 

Buck. (With an impulsive movement to take her 
in his arms) You darling! 

Anna. (Breaking azvay) No, no, not now. 
(Runs out left, leaving Buck puzzled) 

Rice. (Enters c.) Mr. Braden in? 

Buck, No — he's out with a little squab. 

Rice. A squab? 

Buck. (Back to door r. Faces up-stagc. Box 
in hand) Yes : Miss Noggs. 

Rice. Oh, yes, of course, of course. 

(Jap enters down l. quickly.) 

Jap. Say, Ryder — (He sees that Rice is about to 
speak to him, and hastily lifts a warning finger) 
I can't do anything with Strawbridge. (Buck turns 
to him) He's grouching about that peanut brittle 
order — says he won't send it to the Government 
unless it's paid for in advance. 

Buck. That old fellow is getting on my nerves. 



74 ROLLING STONES 

ni have a talk with him. Excuse me, Mr. Rice, I'll 
be back in a minute. (Buck goes out d. l.) 

Jap. (Turns smilingly to Rice) Well? 

Rice. Well, how far do you intend to let this 
thing go ? 

Jap. Haven't decided. 

Rice. See here, you don't seem to realize the 
position you are placing me in. I'm getting de- 
cidedly uncomfortable. If I'd had any idea 

Jap. (Soothingly) Now, don't lose your seat, 
Mr. Rice. Everything is coming along splendidly. 
The business is increasing by leaps and bounds. 
Everybody is satisfied ; why shouldn't you be ? 

Rice. Every reason in the world. Besides being 
distasteful, this whole business is unprofessional, to 
say the least. 

Jap. Why is it? You are my attorney and get- 
ting paid for it, and so long as I'm not kicking 

Rice. What about Miss Noggs? 

Jap. What about her? 

Rice. She's running around with this impostor. 
She's out with him at this moment — she might even 
get to like him 

Jap. (Complacently. Crossing r.) I think she 
does. 

Rice. Then she ought to be warned before it is 
too late. 

Jap. (Sits on corner of desk r.) Not at all. If 
she likes this fellow, that's her affair; and if she 
wants to marry him, well, I can't very well stop 
her, you know. 

Rice. Ah, I see now what's in your mind. In 
the event of her marrying someone else, the entire 
estate would revert to you. 

Jap. (Rises, crosses to Rice) Now, hold on, Mr. 
Rice, I have my own reasons for wanting things 
to go on as they are at present — but cheating Miss 



ROLLING STONES 75 

Noggs out of her share of the estate is not one of 
them. 

Rice. Whatever your intentions are, I can't 
allow you to go on taking such chances with money 
belonging to Miss Noggs. These impostors are 
dangerous. 

Jap. The money is not in their hands — they can't 
raise thirty cents on a check unless it is counter- 
signed by Strawbridge. And you've told him what 
to do. 

Rice. Strawbridge can't watch them every 
minute, and these men are not fools. 

Jap. No. But don't forget I'm on the job my- 
self. Now, leave this to me. I know what I am 
doing. 

Strawbridge. (Off l.) We zvill see about it, 
Mr. Ryder, and at once. 

Buck. (Off l.) I am the manager here, and 
the sooner you realize that the better for you. 

Strawbridge. (Entering through door l. fol- 
lozved by Buck) Where is Mr. Braden? I must 
have this matter settled. 

Rice. Hello, Strawbridge. 

(Jap goes around Buck's desk and up to ivindow.) 

Strawbridge. Ah, Mr. Rice, I am very glad to 
see you here. You understand my position with Mr. 
Hewitt. Perhaps you will be good enough to tell 
this young man ? 

Buck. It isn't necessary for Mr. Rice to tell me 
anything. I am in charge and you must take orders 
from me. 

Rice. (Crosses to Buck) One moment, please. 
There is evidently some misunderstanding. 

Buck. No misunderstanding at all. This busi- 
ness has got to expand along new lines, and any- 
body that tries to stop it has got to get out. 



^6 ROLLING STONES 

Strawbridge. Just as I expected. Get rid of the 
has-beens, and start all over with a lot of kids. 

Rice. Come, come, Strawbridge, don't lose your 
temper. 

Strawbridge. I'm not going to allow a young 
whippersnapper to destroy a business that Mr. 
Hewitt gave his entire life to build up. 

Buck. "Destroy!" Can you beat that fellow? 

Rice. You mustn't mind the old man. He's a bit 
hasty, but he doesn't mean all that he says. {Turns 
to Strawbridge) I know it's a bit difficult to adjust 
one's self to new conditions, Strawbridge, but under 
the circumstances, I should advise a little patience — 

Strawbridge. Patience be ! 

Rice. Tut, tut ! You have nothing to gain by 
that attitude. Now, apologize to Mr. Ryder and do 
as he asks you. 

Strawbridge. Apologize ! 

Rice. {Catching his eye) Remember, I'm speak- 
ing to you as an old friend. 

Strawbridge. {After a moment's pause) Very 
well. I'm sorry. 

(Rice crosses itp-stage a little.) 

Buck. All right, we'll let it go at that. {Crosses 
over to his desk) But if you want to stick around 
here you'd better kill that nannie of yours. 

Strawbridge. Don't blame me if things go 
wrong. {He turns l.) 

Buck. {Sits at desk r.) I won't. 

Rice, (c.) Oh, Strawbridge. (Strawbridge 
stops, and Rice turns to Buck. To Strawbridge) 
Just a word. {To Buck) Do you mind if I have 
a chat with the old fellow? 

Buck. Talk his head off if you think it'll do him 
any good. 



ROLLING STONES yj 

Rice. Thank you. {He turns and goes out l. 
zuith Strawbridge. They ad lib. on exit) 

Jap. (Who is slightly above Buck's desk) By 
the way, Ryder, I want to talk with you about some- 
thing. 

Buck. Good Lord, are you going to kick, too? 

Jap. Not exactly ; but you two fellows said some- 
thing to me a while ago and I thought 

Buck. (Sits at desk r.) I know what you're 
going to say. You aren't getting enough money. 
All right. We'll raise you five a week. That's 
good enough, isn't it? 

Jap. Yes, but 

Buck. Don't thank me. I know what you need it 
for. 

(Norma enters, center door, followed by Dave. 
They are both attired for automobiling.) 

Norma. (Takes stage c.) Hello, everybody! 
Dave. Here we are. 

(Jap crosses back of desk l. to d. l.) 

Buck. It's about time you got back. 

Norma. Oh, I've had the loveliest time ! 

Dave. Oh, say ! You ought to see the little car 
that I bought Norma. It's a pippin. 

Jap. You haven't bought an automobile? 

Dave. Sure. Got to live up to my position. 

Norma. A beautiful Pierce-Arrow. 

Buck. But you know Rice won't allow you to 
spend that much money. Walter, you'd better tell 
Rice about this. Wait a minute, I'll tell him myself. 
(Crosses to door l.) I don't want to get in a row 
about it. (Goes out l. zvith Jap) 

Dave. And tell him there's no come-back either — 
we've just got to have an automobile. (Crossing 



78 ROLLING STONES 

quickly to door) And, Buck, nix on a Ford! 
(Hangs up hat and coat. Cheerfully) He'll fix it 
for us, Norma. Buck can get anything he goes 
after. He's the greatest little fixer in the business. 
(He gets a box of candies from desk l.) Here, 
see what I've got for you. Look ! 

Norma. (Below desk l. c.) What are they? 

Dave. Taste one. 

Norma. (Tastes candy) Oh, kisses! 

Dave. " Norma's Kisses ", see ? See your 
picture on the cover. (He displays the cover of the 
box) 

Norma. (Throws her arms around his neck) 
Aren't you sweet? (She sits on desk l., and takes 
box. Dave jumps up beside her) 

Dave. Yeah! I'm going to get them out for a 
holiday special. They can't help eating what's in- 
side when they see what's outside. Now, let me 
taste one. (She offers him the candies, but he 
puts them aside) No — regular one ! (Kisses her) 
Gee, if we could only put those on the market. 

Norma. You know, Mr. Ryder may be right 
about that automobile. It is frightfully expensive. 

Dave. What do I care about expense! I've got 
all the credit I want. I'll buy you a house if you 
want it. 

Norma. What kind of a house do you think we 
ought to have? 

Dave. On the Lake Shore Drive— 7with a million 
rooms in it. 

Norma. No, I'd rather have a cottage in the 
country — just big enough for us two. 

Dave. In the country? Say, that would be 
great ! 

Norma. With morning-glories climbing up the 
sides. 

Dave. Yes. And we could have a cow and a lot 
of little chickens. 



ROLLING STONES 79 

Norma. And I would just love to have a lake. 

Dave. What kind of a lake? 

Norma. A lake, a little lake, with swans 

Dave. Swans ! Oh, you mean those long-necked 
goose things? 

NoRLiA. Swimming around on it. That wouldn't 
cost much, would it? 

Dave. What, the lake? Nothing at all. Water 
is the cheapest thing there is. 

Norma. That would be lovely. 

Dave. I used to live in a cottage right near water, 
and it was full of all sorts of things. 

Norma. What, the cottage? 

Dave. No, the water. 

Norma. Oh, you mean in W^alla-Walla. 

Dave. No, in — (Recollecting himself) Yes, in 
Walla-Walla. 

Norma. What does everybody do out there? 

Dave. Where? In Walla-W^alla ? {She nods) 
Why, they just Walla-Walla. (They laugh) 
Ain't I the comic? 

Norma. You are funny. 

Dave. Say, Norma, you're on the level about that 
little cottage with the morning glories and swans 
and things? 

Norma. Of course. 

Dave. It isn't just because I am Braden and have 
this business ? You would love me anyway, vrouldn't 
you? 

Norma. If I could only just have you and the 
morning-glories, I wouldn't care if I never had any- 
thing else. 

Dave. Oh, it's a pleasure to give you anything. 
(He embraces her) 

Rice. (Heard off-stage) No, no, Mr. Ryder, it 
isn't possible. (Enters, follozved by Buck d. l. 
Norma jumps dozvn from desk; Dave picks up 
'phone) I'm sorry, but I have a duty to perform. 



8o ROLLING STONES 

Dave. Good-bye. {Puts dozvn 'phone) 

Buck. But what difference does it make? 

Rice. All the difference in the world. 

Dave. Did you tell him about the car ? 

Buck. (Crosses back to Dave's desk r.) It's 
cold. 

Rice. (To Dave, as Buck goes upstage and 
crosses to his desk) My boy, it must be returned. 
I can't permit any such sum to be spent. 

Dave. We don't have to pay for it right away. 

Norma. And we would have to have one when 
we are married. 

Rice. Then wait until you are married. (To 
Dave) You had better return the car and exercise 
a little patience. (Crosses up c.) 

Dave. Now, don't worry about it, girlie. He 
can't make me do anything I don't want to do. 
(Crosses to end of desk r.) 

Rice. Come, Norma, it is getting late, and your 
mother will be anxious. (He goes up to door) 

Norma. Oh, bother! (Gets candy box. To 
Dave) Coming over to-night? 

Dave. (At Buck's desk r.) Sure thing. Say, 
why can't we all go home in my car; it's waiting 
downstairs ? 

Rice. (Coming down to Dave) Once for all, 
young man, I think 

Dave. Now, don't do an ymore thinking, be- 
cause that car is mine, whether it gets paid for or 
not. 

Rice. Very well. But the Hewitt Estate will 
never pay for it with my permission. Good-day, 
gentlemen. Come, Norma. (He goes out center) 

Norma. (Getting up) Aren't you coming? 

Dave. (Crosses up to Norma) Yes, I'll see you 
downstairs. 

Buck. (Quickly, to Dave) Don't go. I want 
to see you. 



ROLLING STONES 8i 

Dave. Back in a minute. 

Buck. (Very firmly) Now! 

Dave. (To Norma, taking her hand) Then I 
won't see you downstairs. 

Norma. (Holding his hand) To-night, then. 

Dave. Yeah. Good-bye. 

Norma. Good-bye. 

Dave. (Reaching forzmrd and kissing her as she 
turns to go through door) Good-bye. (Then as he 
slowly closes the door, he heaves a deep sigh and 
turns' to Buck) What's the matter, Buck? What's 
on your mind? 

Buck. (Starts around desk — with a ivarning 
signal as Strawbridge enters from l.) Sh! 

Dave. Oh, hello, Straw 

Strawbridge. (Enters l. with money-bag on his 
shoulder and blank check in his hand) Mr. Walter 
told me you were here, sir. 

Buck. What do you want? 

Strawbridge. Mr. Braden's signature on this 
check ; it is the pay-roll for the Stores to-morrow. 
(Crosses to c.) 

Dave. (Taking and signing check) That's the 
best thing I do. (Hands it to Strawbridge) There 
you are. 

Strawbridge. (Going tozvard center door) 
Thank you. 

Dave. Where are you going with that? 

Strawbridge. To get it cashed. It saves us 
much time arranging the envelopes in the morning. 
(He chuckles at Buck and goes out center) 

Buck. (Cross to c. Suspiciously) Did you get 
on to the smile ? Why this sudden change ? 

Dave. What's the matter with him? 

Buck. Had a scrap with him a moment ago. 
Now he's laughing. You know, I am afraid of that 
fellow. (Goes down r.) 

Dave. Get rid of him — let him go. 



^2 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. That would get Rice down on us. They 
are old friends. 

Dave. {Rises and crosses to Buck) I think you 
just imagine these things. You are losing your 
nerve. 

Buck. Maybe. I caught him grabbing con- 
fidentially to Rice out there a minute ago. I think 
they're both on to us. 

Dave. Wouldn't Rice say something if he knew ? 

Buck. Not if he has some reason for letting us 
run along. 

Dave. What do you think we had better do ? 

Buck. I don't know, but I have a feeling that 
something is going to happen. {Turns just as he 
sees Denison entering center door) Hello, here's 
the fellow that wanted to see you. (Buck crosses 
L.) How do you do? 

Denison. (Crosses d. c.) Are you Mr. Braden? 

Dave. That's me. 

Denison. Can I see you for a moment? 

Dave. You are looking at me. 

Denison. (Glancing at Buck) Alone! 

Dave. Mr. Ryder is my general manager. 

Denison. My business is personal. 

Buck. Mr. Braden has no secrets from me. 

Denison. This is strictly private. 

Dave. Oh, very well, Buck, if he thinks it im- 
portant. 

Buck. Just as you say, Mr. Braden. (With a 
suspicious glance at Denison as he goes out l.) 

Dave. (Going nervously to the seat behind 
Buck's o?£?.?/?) Well, what is it — what is it? (Very 
business-like) 

Denison. Do you mind if I sit down? 

Dave. (Looks over bunch of letters) No, of 
course not. Help yourself. 

Denison. (Sits down deliberately in front of 



ROLLING STONES 83 

desk; takes note -book and papers from his pocket) 
Mr. Braden, my name is Denison. 

Dave. Glad to know you, Mr. Denison. (Yawns) 

Denison. (Continuing) Of the Denison De- 
tective Agency. 

Dave. (Szvallows hard) Detective! 

Denison. I have been retained by Holt, Einstein 
& Necker, of Walla-Walla. They are your at- 
torneys, are they not? 

Dave. I — Yes, I suppose so. 

Denison. (Quickly) You suppose so ! 

Dave. Well, you see, I am not living out there 
any more and, 

Denison. Yes, I understand that. But they did 
represent you when you came into this business — 
before you came East. 

Dave. Yes. 

Denison. That's what I thought. Mr. Braden, 
why didn't you let them know that you had arrived 
here? 

Dave. I thought they did know. 

Denison. Well, they didn't. In fact, they had an 
idea that you had been mixed up in that wreck near 
Omaha a month ago. Didn't know you were here 
until they saw it in the newspapers. 

Dave. Oh, I am sorry about that. 

Denison. (Taking out card and paper) Oh, 
that's all right now. But before they did know about 
it they got in touch with us and asked us to in- 
vestigate for them. 

Dave. Too bad to have to put you to all that 
trouble. 

Denison. No trouble: that's our business. But 
I had to see you personally so that I could assure 
them you were all right. (He takes slip from his 
wallet and places it in front of Dave) I want you to 
sign this, if you don't mind. 

Dave. (Suspiciously) What's that for? 



84 ROLLING STONES 

Denison. Just my voucher — which proves I 
taked to you personally. We have to send that in 
with our bill. 

Dave. {Greatly relieved) Oh, I see. {He signs 
the slip and hands it hack. Denison takes it, rises 
and moves center, at the same time comparing slip 
Dave has signed with a registered card which he 
has previously taken from his pocket) 

Denison. (Dave rises crosses to belozv desk) 
By the way, Mr. Braden, you received a registered 
package from them a month ago? 

Dave. {Starts to light cigarette) Did I?— Oh, 
yes, think I did. 

Denison. You signed for it, didn't you? 

Dave. Yes, I think so. 

Denison. Yourself ? 

Dave. I — I don't remember. 

Denison. {Comparing signatures again) Guess 
you did ! They are both in the same writing. 

Dave. Well, then, I did. {Belligerently) What's 
the idea of these questions, anyway? 

Denison. {Coming close to him and speaking 
firmly) I am trying to find out why your signature 
here is different from the one you had out West. 
{Shozvs Dave a letter) Your attorneys sent this 
one on to us and it doesn't tally with this slip that 
you have just signed. 

Dave. {Nonplussed for the moment) What do 
you want me to do about it? 

Denison. {Sharply) I want you to explain it. 

Dave. Let me see the one they sent you. (Deni- 
son hands it to him and zvatches him closely) Why, 
of course. They aren't alike. This one isn't mine. 

Denison. Not yours? 

Dave. No. 

Denison. Now, how did they make that mis- 
take ? 

Dave. I don't know. 



ROLLING STONES 85 

Denison. You are sure that you never signed 
this ? 

Dave. Positive. 

Denison. That's funny. Well, I won't trouble 
you any more, Mr. Braden, and I am obliged to you 
for this voucher. 

Dave. (Greatly relieved. Going back to desk) 
Don't mention it, Mr. Denison. And if there is any- 
thing else I can do for you, let me know. I'll write 
those boys out at Walla- Walla and let them know 
just how it happened. 

Denison. (Stopping at center door) Oh, you 
are living with the Brannigans, aren't you? 

Dave. Yes. 

Denison. I will let them know that, too. Good- 
day. 

Dave. So long! (Denison goes out center; 
Dave runs up to door and looks out to see that he is 
really gone; then becomes almost panic-stricken as 
he comes down tozvard door l. shrieking) Buck! 
Buck ! 

(Buck enters quickly.) 

Buck. Is he gone ? 

Dave. You were right about this thing. We're 
up aganst it. We've got to make one getaway. 

Buck. (Grosses toward door up c.) What did 
he want? 

Dave. He is a detective. 

Buck. A detective ! ! 

Dave. Hired by Braden's attorneys in Walla- 
Walla. The receipt I signed for the registered 
package with the papers — you remember? 

Buck. Yes. 

Dave. Well, the signature they had in Walla- 
Walh doesn't tally with the signature they had here, 



86 ROLLING STONES 

so they sent it on to the Detective Agency to find 
out the reason why. 

Buck. You didn't give yourself away, did you? 

Dave. He got me to sign something before I was 
wise. 

Buck. Great Scott ! (He crosses dozvn right and 
goes up around desk back to center, zvith Dave 
follozving him excitedly) 

Dave. Oh, I know I'm a nut. But there's no use 
crying about it. We've got to do something quick. 

Buck. Oh, gee ! (He stops suddenly; then 
crosses in front of desk l. and continues in a sub- 
dued tone. Sits at desk l.) I hate to let go, just as 
we have things running so nicely. I've been so in- 
terested in this business that I haven't even thought 
of money. 

Dave. What'll we do, Buck? 

Buck. I don't know. It's rotten luck, though — 
getting a wrong start. Why, I'd even dreamed that 
our work here might lead to a future and a home — 
with Anna. Well, there go my dreams. (Crosses 

L.) 

Dave. There go my morning-glories ! 

Buck. (Turning quickly) What morning- 
glories ? 

Dave. Norma wanted them with swans on them 
by the cottage, and the lake 

Buck. This isn't the time to think of cottages 
and morning-glories. We've got to do something 
quick. 

Dave. I know, but what? 

Buck. The only safe place for us now is 
Canada. 

Dave. Canada! But how are we going to get 
there? I haven't any credit with the railroad com- 
pany. 

Buck. Haven't you any money? 



ROLLING STONES 87 

Dave. No, I've over-drawn my allowance al- 
ready. 

Buck. And I haven't enough for a taxi. Oh ! 
If it were only to-morrow and I had my salary! 

Dave. We can't wait till to-morrow. We've got 
to get away to-night. 

Buck. Well, we'll just have to raise it some- 
where, that's all. 

Dave. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll make out a 
check for your salary and get Strawbridge to coun- 
tersign it and cash it right away. 

Buck. (Dave goes to desk l.) Good idea! 
{Crosses to chair by desk r. Strawbridge enters 
c.) Look out. Here he is now. (Crosses above 
desk to chair) 

(Strawbridge crosses to safe, and puts in money. 
Starts for door l.) 

Dave. Oh ! By the way, Straw 

Strawbridge. Yes, sir ! 

Dave. (Dozvn to r. of Strawbridge. Buck 
comes round to front desk r.) Here's a little check 
for Mr. Ryder's salary. Just put your name to it 
and get it cashed right away for me, will you? 

Strawbridge. Sorry, sir, but the bank has 
closed for the day. 

Dave. You've just put some cash in there, haven't 
you? 

Strawbridge. Just the necessary amount for the 
pay-roll. Can't disturb that. I'll get this for you in 
the morning. (Crosses to l. Exit) 

Buck. (Crosses Daye to l.) Didn't I tell you he 
was on ? 

Dave. Think so ! 

Buck. I'm sure of it. 

Dave. Then let's take it ourselves. 

Buck. No, that would be stealing. 

Dave. How do you make that out? It's coming 



88 ROLLING STONES 

to you, isn't it? Just think what you've done for 
this firm. 

Buck. It's steahng, just the same. I won't touch 
it. 

Dave. Well, then, what are we going to do? If 
we stay here, we'll be pinched. 

Buck. I don't see why? We haven't done any- 
thing really wrong. 

Dave. They'll just consider us a couple of crooks, 
and send us up for a long term. 

Buck. What's the use, Dave? We couldn't get 
that money even if we wanted to. The safe is 
locked. 

Dave. I'll get the combination. 

Buck. How? 

Dave. From Strawbridge. I'm the boss. I'll 
ask him for it. 

Buck. Won't he suspect? 

Dave. If he does, he won't give it to me. And 
we will know he is on. We haven't anything to lose, 
and it's our only chance. I'll ring for him. {Goes 
up to desk R. Buck stops him) 

Buck. Here, wait! 

Dave. (At desk r.) Now, you got me into this 
and you've got to get me out. 

Buck. (Crosses up to desk l.) Oh! All right, 
go ahead. (Dave rings buzzer) Make some ex- 
cuse — be casual about it. (Buck crosses to desk 

L.) 

(After a short pause, Strawbridge enters.) 

Strawbridge. (Crosses to c.) Want me, sir? 

Dave. (Sits at desk r.) Yes. It just occurred 
to me that if anything happened to you, we wouldn't 
be able to open the safe. 

Strawbridge. Nothing has ever happened to me, 
sir. 



ROLLING STONES 89 

Dave. No, but it might. And I'd like to have the 
combination, just in case. 

Strawbridge. (Hesitates a moment; glances at 
Buck, who turns quickly away; then says quietly) 
Certainly, sir; I will write it out for you. (Dave 
front of desk, puts down the numbers and hands 
slip back) Anything else? 

Dave. No, that'll be all, Strawbridge, that'll be 
all. 

(Strawbridge goes out l. The moment he is out 
of sight, both boys plunge for the paper.) 

Buck. (Crosses to Dave d. r.) Got it? 

Dave. (Rises, and starts tozvard safe) Yes. 
Let's see if it works. 

Buck. (Stopping him) Not now. Somebody 
might see us. You've got a key to the office, haven't 
you? 

Dave. Yes. 

Buck. We'll come back to-night when nobody is 
around and get what we need — just enough to take 
us across the border. Is that understood? 

Dave. Sure. 

Buck. And afterwards we'll tell the girls just 
exactly what's happened — they've got to know every- 
thing, you know. 

Dave. Sure. 

Buck. Good. Then I'll look up the trains on the 
Grand Trunk, and you go pack your stuff. 

Dave. (Crosses to get hat and coat) I'll have 
time to see Norma, won't I ? 

Buck. Yes. And tell her the whole truth, then 
if she is willing to come along with us, have her 
meet us at the house at nine o'clock. 

Dave. Want me to wait at the Brannigans' ? 

Buck. No, I have a lot of things to attend to. 
Meet me at the corner restaurant. 



90 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. I'll run over and see Norma now. 

Buck. The whole truth, remember — no side- 
stepping. 

Dave. Not me : I'm going through with this. 
{Exits center) 

Buck. (Goes up and gets his hat and coat and 
turns toward the center door; then remembering 
Anna, he stops and starts toward door l.) Oh, 
Anna, Anna! (]af enters door l.) Hello, Walter. 
(Turns and goes to center door) 

Jap. Going home? 

Buck. Yes, it's after five. 

Jap. See you to-morrow. 

(Strawbridge enters d. l., with hat and over- 
coat.) 

Buck. (As he goes out) Perhaps. 

Jap. (Crosses up toward door c. puszled) 
"Perhaps!" (Then dismissing it from his mind, 
becomes more cheerful) Are we the last? 

Strawbridge. No, sir — Miss Anderson is still 
here. 

(Jap strolls dozvn to desk r., lights cigarette, getting 
match from desk, zvhile Strawbridge con- 
tinues looking at him. Jap turns and notices 
his expression.) 

Jap. What's your trouble? 

■ Strawbridge. Mr. Rice has told me everything, 
sir. 

Jap. You mean — about me? 
Strawbridge. Yes, sir. 
Jap. Oh, that's a pity. 
Strawbridge. No, sir. I'm glad. 

Jap. Well, so long as you know 

Strawbridge. How long is this to go on, sir? 



ROLLING STONES 91 

Jap. I don't know. They are pretty good boys, 
and I hate to lose them. 

Strawbridge. BeHeve me, sir, they are not to be 
trusted. 

Jap. How do you know? 

Strawbridge. He asked me for the combination 
of that safe — just after he had seen me put the pay- 
roll in it. 

Jap. When? 

Strawbridge. Just a minute ago. 

Jap. You didn't give it to him? 

Strawbridge. Yes, sir, I did. 

Jap. {Starts toward Strawbridge) Why? 

Strawbridge. (Hastily) But I didn't give him 
the right one, sir. 

Jap. (With relief) Oh! 

Strawbridge. I didn't think it wise. 

Jap. Quite right. (He turns to sofa) I wonder 
what he wanted it for. (Suddenly the possibilities 
dawn on him. Keeps his eyes on safe) Straw- 
bridge, let me have your key to the front door. 

Strawbridge. Are you coming back ? 

Jap. I may want to. Let me have it. 

Strawbridge. Certainly, sir. (Takes key off his 
chain and gives it to Jap) Anything else, sir? 

Jap. That is all. 

Strawbridge. Good-night, sir. 

Jap. Good-night. (Strawbridge goes out center. 
Jap goes tozvard the safe in perplexity, then g^bes 
to 'phone on desk r., picks it up, zvaits an instant, 
and sets it dozvn and crosses to door l. and opens 
it) Miss Anderson 

Anna. (Off l.) Yes? 

Jap. Just a minute, please. (Crosses r.) 

Anna. (Enters) Oh! Has everybody gone? 

Jap. Miss Anderson, have you said anything to 
Ryder that would lead him to think that we suspect 
him? 



92 ROLLING STONES 

Anna. No — why? 

Jap. You've kept your word to me ? You haven^t 
warned them? 

Anna. You know that. 

Jap. Well, somebody has tipped them off. 
They're on. 

Anna. That can't be. I was just talking to Mr. 
Ryder a short time ago. If he'd had any suspicion 
he'd have told me. 

Jap. Then why did he ask old Strawbridge for 
the combination of that safe? 

Anna. When? 

Jap. Not ten minutes ago. Just after they'd 
seen him put the money in it. 

Anna. I don't understand? 

Jap. (Crosses to desk r.) I do, and I'm going to 
protect myself. 

Anna. (Crosses to him) What are you going to 
do? 

Jap. (Picks up 'phone) Notify the police. 

Anna. (Holds telephone) No — no — wait, please. 
Their asking for the combination doesn't prove that 
they are going to make bad use of it. 

Jap. I'm not taking any chances. 

Anna. But you can't have them arrested for 
that. 

Jap. I can have them watched, can't I? 

Anna. We can watch them ourselves. We'll 
find they're all right. I know we will. 

Jap. If you really think that, you wouldn't be 
afraid. 

Anna. I'm not afraid. 

Jap. Well, if they are all right the police can't 
harm them. 

Anna. But I want you to give him a fair 
chance. 

Jap. He's had his chance and what he does with 



ROLLING STONES 93 

it from now on is up to him. (Takes 'phone from 
her) Hello — hello — get me Police Headquarters. 

Curtain 

Scene H : After the lapse of a few moments, the 
curtain rises again upon the same scene. 

It is night and the stage is dork, except for 
the light ivhich comes through the zvindow. 
After a moment's pause, center door opens and 
Dave enters, follozved by Buck ; they speak in 
lowered tones. 

Dave. (Crosses to d. c. to right) Gee, I'm 
scared. 

Buck. Nothing to be afraid of. Have you got 
that paper ? 

Dave. Yes. 

Buck. Then hurry up. The sooner we are out 
of this place the better 111 feel. 

Dave. (Goes to safe and kneels) I can't see. 
It's too dark. 

Buck. Here, I'll light a match. (He lights a 
match and holds it over Dave) Can you see now? 

Dave. Yes. You hold the paper and give me the 
mmibers. 

(Buck takes the paper and reads; Dave repeats 
as he turns combination.) 

Buck. To the right, fifty, twice, next thirty- 
seven, twice 

Dave. I've got it. (Buck suddenly drops the 
match) What's the matter? 

Buck. Burnt my finger, damn it. 

Dave. Aw ! Never mind your finger. Come on ! 

Buck. (Lights another match) Fifty twice — 
thirtv-seven twice — next 



94 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. Yes, I've got that. Hurry up. 

Buck. Then back to twenty three times — 
(Pause) Now, left to fifteen 

Dave. Fifteen — yes. 

Buck. Open it! 

Dave. Yeah! Open it. (Tugs at the door but 
it doesn't budge) It won't open. 

Buck. Oh, you're a hell of a burglar! (Takes 
him by the arm, pushes him aside to l. and kneels) 
Here, you make a light and let me work it. 

(Dave comes up behind him, and striking a match, 
reads from paper.) 

Dave. Are you ready? 

Buck. I know : right fifty, twice. 

Dave. (Suddenly) What's that? 

Buck. What? 

Dave. I heard something. (They listen intently) 

Buck. (With a growl of disgust) You're hear- 
ing things again, are you? Here, give me that 
paper. You're no use at all. (He takes the paper 
and works alone at the lock, while Dave goes over 
to door L. and peeks out furtively) Thirty-seven — 
then to twenty — and fifteen — (Buck tries to open 
the door in vain; then he rises) I'm damned! 
(Backing away) 

Dave. (Coming center) Won't it work? 

Buck. No, it's a bunk. Strawbridge has put one 
over on us. 

Dave. (Crosses to c.) Gee! Then I'll bet it's a 
plant. 

Buck. If it is, then we'll have to make a fight 
for it. 

Dave. (Suddenly as he sees shadow of burglar 
on walls) What's that? 

Buck. What? 

Dave. (Crossing up a bit, looks off r.) There 
is someone at that window. 



ROLLING STONES 95 

Buck. Duck! (Buck drops dozvn belozv desk 
R. Dave runs over l. and hides back desk l. 
Burglar cuts glass out of zvindozv and enters. He 
flashes lamp, goes to center door, looks out 
cautiously, then conies down center and his light 
cautiously appears from behind desk l. and Buck 
locks it and then decides to make sure — cvits. Dave 
rises from behind desk R. Dave backs into Buck 
and is startled) It's a burglar! 

Dave. (Stammers) A burglar? What's he 
after? 

Buck. Probably knows about the pay-roll — and 
he's going after it. Let's grab him. 

Dave. No — wait. 

Buck. Wait? What for? 

Dave. .Wait — until — he opens — the safe. (Noise 
off L. ) Quick ! He's coming back ! ( They hide 
behind desk r. The burglar re-enters from door l. 
He goes to the sofa, puts his lamp on the floor and 
sets to zvork silently; after he has finished drilling, 
he inserts the ' soup ', adjusts the wires and attaches 
an end to his battery; there is a dull explosion and 
the door flies open. As the burglar reaches into the 
safe for the money, the boys come dozvn quickly 
and seise him) You would, would you? 

Burglar. (Struggling) W^hat the — ! (All 
three talk ad lib. through this struggle) 

Buck. (Putting his hand over the burglar's 
mouth) Shut up! Stick your handkerchief in his 
jaw, Dave. Now, put him over there and tie him. 

(The burglar suddenly throzvs them both off and 
strikes Dave, zvho falls; the burglar then dashes 
off through the open zvindozv.) 

Dave, (c.) Get him, Buck, get him! 
Buck. (Near zvater cooler, d. l.) No, let him 
go. We don't want him. 



96 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. (Holding Jiis hand to his face) Gee, 
what a wallop. 

Buck. Hurt you much? 

Dave. Just about ruined me, that's all. 

Buck. Anyway, we stopped him from getting 
the coin. 

Dave. Luck is coming our way at last. (Cross- 
ing to safe) Now, let's get it and get out of here 
while we have the chance. (He starts to take out 
money) 

Buck. (Cross to Dave) Wait a minute, Dave. 

Dave. What's the matter? 

Buck. I don't think we ought to take that money. 

Dave. Why not? 

Buck. That's what that other fellow tried to do 
just now, and he's a burglar. 

Dave. What's that got do with us? 

Buck. Don't you see? if we take that money, 
we'll be in his class : just a couple of crooks and 
nothing else. 

Dave. Well, if you feel that way about it, why 
didn't you say something before? 

Buck. I never realized what we were doing until 
I saw that fellow at the safe. Let's leave the money 
there and take our chances the other way. 

Dave. You know what those chances are, don't 
you? 

Buck. Yes. 

Dave. We'll be put in jail, that's what. 

Buck. I'll take my medicine. 

Dave. Well, it'll be a place to sleep and they'll 
have to feed us anyway. 

(Anna enters.) 

Buck. Are you game? 
Dave. I am if you are. 
Buck. Then let's get out of here while we have 



ROLLING STONES 97 

the chance. (Lights. At this moment, Anna, who 
has entered quietly and unobserved, presses the 
electric button and szvitches on the lights. The boys 
turn in astonishment) Anna! 

Dave. Oh, Lord! 

Buck. How did you know we were here? 

Anna. I waited for you at the house and you 
didn't come, so I knew you must be here. 

Buck. Mr. Braden and I ran down to get some 
things. 

Anna. That's not Mr. Braden. 

Buck. You know? 

Anna. I've known all along. 

Dave. You won't give us away ! 

Anna. (Crossing dozvn c. Looks at safe) I 
didn't believe it because I didn't want to believe it, 
but you are a thief after all. 

Buck. No, no. We didn't do that — it was a 
burglar, but he got away from us. 

Anna. Oh, don't lie to me any more. 

Buck. I'm telling you the truth. 

Anna. You took the money Mr. Strawbridge 
put in that safe. 

Buck. We haven't touched it. It's still there. 
You can see for yourself. 

Anna. Then why did you come? 

Buck. To get my salary, that's all. But we 
realized that it was wrong to take it that way, and 
we were just going to leave — Oh! I know it looks 
rotten, but please don't judge us before you know 
everything. 

Anna. I do know everything, and that's why I 
came. I wanted to be sure you've deceived me from 
the start, and now I don't want to see or hear from 
you again. 

Buck. No — you're wrong. (Door slams off r.) 

Dave. What's that? 

Anna. The police. 



98 ROLLING STONES 

Dave. The police ! ! 

Anna. Yes, they were sent for. 

(Dave goes to door c.) 

Buck. Good Lord, if they find us here with that 
safe blown open ! 

Dave. They'll think we did it. 

Buck. {Going to Anna l.) Quick,^ Anna, 
you've got to get out of here. You can slip into the 
hall through the side door and while they are in 
here, you can get to the street. 

Anna. Do you think that I ? 

Buck. Don't you see if they find you here with 
us, you'll be arrested, too ! They'll think you just as 
guilty as we are. Anna, please, for your own sake — 

Dave. He's coming — he's coming ! ! ! 

(Anna goes into room l.) 

Buck. The lights, quick. {Lights out. Dave, 
ivho is listening up at center, presses the electric 
button and the lights go out) Hide. (Buck drops 
dozvn behind desk l. and Dave hides up r.) 

{lite center door is opened and Jap enters; he 
presses the electric button and throws on the 
lights. He comes down center and sees the 
safe.) 

Jap. By God ! They've gotten away with it ! 
{He runs to the safe, reaches it and takes out the 
package of money) No, they haven't! {As he 
starts to put it in his pocket, Buck speaks, coming 
center) 

Buck. Put that money back ! 

Jap. {Turning, startled) What? 



ROLLING STONES 99 

Dave. (At left of desk) Put that money back, 
do you hear? 

Jap. (Puts money in coat pocket) What are 
you fellows doing here? 

Buck. Never mind what we are doing here. 
We've caught yoit with the goods. 

Jap. You've caught jne! I like that — when I 
find you fellows in hiding and the safe blown open. 

Dave. We didn't blow the safe. A burglar did 
that. 

Jap. You'll have a hard job proving that. 

Buck. We don't have to prove anything. You 
are the one who's in bad. I knew that woman would 
get you into trouble. 

Jap. What woman? 

Dave. That woman at the Raleigh. Remember 
what I said about her, Buck? 

Buck. We're sorry for you, Walter, because we 
know you were tempted. Put that money back and 
we'll give you another chance. 

Jap. Don't make me laugh. 

Buck. You won't do it, eh! 

Jap. Certainly not. You want me to let it go so 
you can grab it yourself. I'm on to you both. 
That's what you came here for. I've got a right to 
this money and I'm going to hang on to it. And in 
the morning, I'll have you fellows up for burglary. 
(He starts for center door. Police whistle heard 
off R. Officer and zvatchman heard running down 
hall) 

Buck. Grab him, Dave ! (Dave and Buck seize 
Jap; he struggles) 

Jap. Let go! Let go of me, do you hear? 

Buck. Get it away from him. {While they 
struggle, police officer enters center door, followed 
by zvatchman) 

Officer. {Levelling his gun) Put up your 
hands — all of you! {They stop instantly and throw 



100 ROLLING STONES 

up their hands in astonishment. Dave is r. Jap 
is- at corner of desk l. c. Officer center, Buck l.) 
The whole gang, eh ! Well, this is some haul. {Sees 
safe) A clean blow, eh? 

Buck. You are just in time, officer. He was 
getting the best of us. 

Officer. {With hack to audience) Who are 
you? 

Buck. My name is Ryder — manager for Mr. 
Braden here. 

Officer. Who is Mr. Braden? 

Dave. I am Mr. Braden. 

Jap. Don't believe them. They're a couple of 
crooks. 

Officer. Come here, watchman. {Watchman 
steps doivn) See your boss here? 

Watchman. That's Mr. Braden over there. 

Officer. Who's this fellow? 

Watchman. Mr. Walter — he works here. 

Jap. I tell you you're making a mistake. Send 
for Mr. Rice, he'll identify me. 

Buck. Don't pay any attention to him. 

Dave. We caught him robbing the safe. 

Officer. Did he get anything? 

Buck. Yes: the pay-roll — he's got it on him 
now. 

{Officer seizes Jap, reaches into his pocket and takes 
out the roll of money. Jap ad lib. zvhile strug- 
gling zvith Officer.) 

Officer. Is this it? 

Buck. Yes. Thank you, officer. We'll see that 
you're rewarded. 

Officer. {Crosses to Dave) You'd better take 
charge of this money, Mr. Braden. 

Jap. Don't let them have that money ! 

Officer. That'll be about all out of you. 



ROLLING STONES loi 

(Watchman and Officer take Jap, who protesting, 
out c. They ad lib. and exit.) 

Curtain 



ACT IV 



Scene: Parlor at the Brannigans'. Shortly after 
the preceeding act. 

At rise: The stage is empty. Dave enters, fol- 
lozved by Buck. 

Dave. I'm as nervous as a cat. Every time we 
passed a cop I swallowed my palate. (Goes to 
sofa) I thought we were pinched sure. 

Buck. (Crosses to l.) It's a wonder we weren't. 
You couldn't have looked more guilty if you'd com- 
mitted murder. 

Dave. Well, I— What'll they do to that guy, 
Walter? Will they send him up? 

Buck. (Pnts hat and coat on chair by fire) I 
don't know. It's Anna Tm worrying about. {Goes 
ttp and rings bell) 

Dave. I wouldn't like to see Walter sent up. 

Buck. They can't do anything unless you appear 
against him in the morning. 

Dave. (Sits on sofa) And by that time we'll be 
in Canada, won't we? 

Buck. That depends on Anna. 

Dave. You mean you won't go unless she does? 

Buck. That's the way I feel, Dave. (Nettie 
enters center) Oh! Nettie, will you ask Miss 
Anderson if I can see her for a few minutes? Say 
it's very important. 

Nettie. Yes, sir. (Goes up the stairs) 



102 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. (Coining down to Dave) Where's that 
money ? 

Dave. I have it. {Takes out money) What 
are you going to do with it? 

Buck. {Takes money from Dave) Turn it 
over to Anna. It's got to go back. 

Dave. I don't see why? 

Buck. Because we're responsible for it. 

Dave. How are we ? Didn't that cop force it on 
me? And I can't take Norma away without some 
money. 

Buck. {Puts money in pocket) Where is 
Norma ? 

Dave. I told her to meet me here. 

Buck. What? 

Dave. I told her to meet me here at nine o'clock 
and be ready to travel. {Looks at his watch) 

Buck. But you didn't tell her the truth about 
yourself. 

Dave. No, I didn't have the nerve. 

Buck. Well, there's one thing you've got to 
understand right now. That little girl must be told 
the truth, and so must Anna. They've got to know 
who you are and what you've done — what we've 
both done. Then if they decide to stick, all right, 
but no four-flushing. I don't want any come-back 
on this. {Crosses to front of table) 

Dave. There won't be any. Norma and I under- 
stand each other perfectly. But what will you do 
if Anna won't come? 

(Nettie comes dozvn-stairs, and goes out hall l.) 

Buck. Stay and take my medicine. 

Dave. {Upstage) That means we'll be arrested. 

Buck. You needn't stay unless you want to. I 
got you into this and if you feel like going — I'll 
understand. 



ROLLING STONES 103 

Dave. And leave you to face it alone? What do 
you think I am? 

Buck. {Crosses and puts hands on Dave's 
shoulders) You're all right, Dave. 

(Anna enters from stairs, and they break.) 

Anna. (To Dave) Miss Noggs is waiting for 
you. 

Dave. (Crosses tip to her. Buck crosses r.) 
What did you tell her? 

Anna. Nothing. 

Dave. Where is she? 

Anna. Up in my room. At the head of the 
stairs. 

Dave. Lll find it. (Runs out center and up the 
stairs) 

Anna. (At r. of table) Well, Buck? 

Buck. It's mighty good of you to see me, Anna. 
I was afraid you wouldn't. 

Anna. I want to give you every chance. 

Buck. First, I want to explain what happened 
after you left. 

Anna. You needn't : I was in the other room 
and heard everything. (Crosses in front of chair) 

Buck. Anna ! 

Anna. What have you done with the money? 

Buck. I have it. Oh, don't be afraid. I'm not 
going to keep it, but I want you to know how it all 
happened. It's not nearly as bad as you think. 
I admit we've done wrong, but it was only in the 
beginning. I was desperate for a chance to prove 
myself, and when this boy came along and you said 
you'd stick — it was in this room — remember? 

Anna. You should have told me then. 

Buck. I didn't stop to think. Everything came 
so easy and we didn't think we were harming any- 
body. We took nothing but our salaries and were 



104 ROLLING STONES 

perfectly satisfied that way, but this afternoon a man 
called to see Dave — you saw him ? 

Anna. Yes. 

Buck. He was a detective employed by Braden's 
western lawyers. That frightened us and we lost 
our heads. 

Anna. (Sits r. of table) If you had only told 
me! 

Buck. We meant to — honestly we did. We in- 
tended to get just enough money to take us over the 
border and explain it all to you before I asked you 
to come with me. (Anna rises) Oh, I know now 
that there wasn't any chance of that. I've been in 
all wrong from the start. You gave me a lift when 
I was starving and I wanted to do something that 
would prove my love for you, but I — {Turning 
azvay zvearily) I seem to have made a mess of it, 
like everything else. (Sits on conch r.) 

Anna. There's only one thing for you to do now. 

Buck. What's that? 

Anna. Mr. Walter has been taken to the station. 
You must take that money down to him. 

Buck. You mean give myself up ? 

Anna. Tell Mr. Walter what you have told me 
and throw yourself on his mercy. 

Buck. What has Walter to do with it? 

Anna. I'm not free to explain that, but it's the 
only thing for you to do. (Turns from him) 

Buck. (Rises) I'll do anything you tell me to 
do but won't you forgive me? I can stand anything 
if you'll just say that. 

Anna. I can't say any more until you have seen 
Mr. Walter. (Crosses to left) 

Buck. (After a pause) Very well. (Cross l. 
above table for hat and coat, and is about to go up 
as Dave enters from stairs, followed by Norma) 

(Dave carries bags.) 



ROLLING STONES 105 

Dave. (Crosses to d. r. Norma back of table) 
Well, are you all ready ? Where's your stuff ? 

Buck. I'm not going, Dave. 

Dave. What? 

Buck. Anna has convinced me that the only 
square thing to do is to take this money down to the 
police station and release Mr. Walter. 

Dave. (Puts suitcase back of sofa) Go down 
to the police station? Not me! 

Anna. It's the only honest thing to do. I'm sure 
that Norma will agree with me. 

Norma. (Back of table) What money are you 
talking about? 

Buck. Hasn't he told you? 

Norma. No. 

Dave. (Weakly) I didn't have the nerve. 
(Brightening quickly) But I told her who I was, 
and it's all right. She's going with me. Aren't you, 
Norma ? 

Norma. (Crossing to Dave — affectionately) I 
think it's terribly romantic. 

Buck. (Crosses to l. of table) Remember, 
you'll lose your share of the estate if you marry 
him. 

Norma. I know. Mother will be awfully mad, 
but I don't care. 

Dave. Maybe she doesn't think something of me ? 

Buck. Well, she's old enough to know what she's 
doing. Anyway, that's none of my business, but 
this other thing is different. 

Norma. Whose money is it ? 

Anna. It was taken from the office. 

Norma. (To Dave) Why, you didn't tell me 
that! 

Dave. Well, I didn't take it. It was handed to 
me. I don't see why we should go down to the 
police station before it's time. 



io6 ROLLING STONES 

Buck. You said you'd take your medicine. 

Dave. I will, if Norma feeds it to me. She's the 
only one we've done anything to, because the busi- 
ness is here and if she's willing to stand for what 
we've done. {The door hell rings twice. He stops. 
They all look tozvard the door) Who's that? 

Buck. {Crosses up, looks off r.) The Bran- 
nigans, I guess. 

Anna. No, they've gone to the theater. It's 
too early for them. 

Dave. Somebody for us. I know it. 

Buck. See who it is, Dave. 

Dave. Do something yourself. I've had enough 
thrills for one evening. 

Anna. Never mind. Nettie is going. {They 
pause and listen, as Nettie is seen to cross at back 
and go to door) 

Denison. {Heard outside r.) Mr. Braden in? 

Nettie. {In hall) He's in the parlor. 

Dave. It's that detective ! Let's beat it ! {Starts 
toward r. door) 

Nettie. {Appears at door) Gentleman to see 
Mr. Braden. 

Denison. {Enters center) It's all right. He 
knows me. (Nettie goes out l. and Denison 
apparently speaks to someone in hall) Just wait 
there a moment, will you? {He surveys the group 
in room) H'm, quite a party ! 

Dave. {Crosses up to Denison. Norma goes 
R.) What do you want? 

Denison. Just a little talk with you. 

Dave. We're just leaving. {Starts up-sfage r.) 

Denison. Got here just in time, didn't I ? 

Buck. If you have any business with Mr. 
Braden you'll have to call at the office to-morrow. 

Denison. Your name is Ryder, isn't it? You're 
his manager. 



ROLLING STONES 107 

Buck. I am, but I don't see what that has to 
do? 

Denison. Mine is Denison — Denison De- 
tective Agency. Mean anything to you? 

Buck. Not a thing. And we haven't time to talk 
about it. 

Denison. I'm here to talk with this young man 
— now. Get me? 

Buck. {Somezvhat cozved) Make it quick, then. 

Dave. What's it about? 

Denison. These young ladies in on it? 

Dave. This is Miss Noggs, my fiancee. 

Denison. (Turning to Anna) I saw this 
young lady at your office this afternoon. 

Buck. Miss Anderson. 

Denison. (Comes right around table c.) How 
do you do. Miss ? You may be able to help me. 

Anna. (Crosses to table. Buck crosses d. l. of 
Anna) In what way? 

Denison. I'm looking for a Mr. Jericho W. 
Braden. 

Dave. (Quickly — dozvn r.) We met this after- 
noon. 

Denison. No doubt about that, but you are not 
Braden. 

Dave. What do you mean? 

Denison. Just what I say. You're not Jericho 
W. Braden. 

Dave. Then who am I? 

Denison. I'll find that out in a minute. 

Buck. Say, if you think you can come here and 
insult Mr. Braden like this ! 

Denison. Cut that indignant stuff. It won't 
get you anything. I'm here to find Mr. Braden and 
it's dollars to doughnuts you know where he is. If 
you're wise you'll come across. 

BuucK. Certainly we know where he is. He's 
right beside you. 



io8 ROLLING STONES 

Denison. Going to stick to that, are you? 
(Goes up to hall and calls; crosses up r. of table 
to lip c.) Step this way, please. (Emma Braden 
enters and all look at each other without recogni- 
tion) Ever see this man before? (r. of table, in- 
dicating Dave) 

Emma. {Behind table) No. 

Denison. But you'd know Braden if you saw 
him? 

Emma. I ought to know him, seeing I'm 

Denison. {Quickly) That's enough. {To 
Anna, indicating room r.) What's in there? 
{Crosses dozvn r. back sofa to door) 

Anna. That's Mrs. Brannigan's room. 

Denison. {To Emma) You'd better wait in 
here for a minute. 

Emma. {Crosses dozvn r. of table to Denison) 
But you said ? 

Denison. You'll know all about it in a minute. 
{As Emma goes into room) You ladies had bet- 
ter go with her. 

Buck. Now, see here 

Denison. They'd better. I want to talk to you 
two boys alone. 

Buck. (Dave kisses Norma's hand. After a 
short pause) All right, Anna. 

Anna. Come, Norma. {She takes Norma into 
room R.) 

Buck. {D^e^iso^ shuts door) Well? 

Denison. Well, that lady is Mrs. Jericho W. 
Braden. 

Dave. Mrs. Braden? 

Denison. You'll admit that she ought to know 
her own husband. {Crosses to c.) Come on boys. 
I've got it on you, but I'll give you one more chance. 
Come through with the dope or go with me on the 
charge of — murder. 

Dave. Murder ! 



ROLLING STONES 109 

Buck. That's ridiculous. 

Denison. Is it? Figure it out for yourselves. 
Braden was due here on the twenty-first. On that 
same night this kid arrives and announces himself 
as Braden. He has his papers, his trunk — every- 
thins^, and claims his inheritance. Takes over his 
business and goes along with a smoothness that 
shows he never expected the real Braden to show 
up. That's a pretty good case, all right. (Em- 
■phasizes by striking fist on table) 

Dave. (Crosses to Denison) Wait a minute. 
I'll tell you the whole thing. 

Denison. Oh, you're willing to talk now, are 
you? 

Buck. Hold on, Dave. 

Denison. (To Buck) You'll get your chance 
after he's through. (To Dave) Go on. You 
admit you're not Braden. 

Dave. Yes. My name is Fulton — Dave Fulton. 

Denison. And where's Braden? 

Dave. He's dead. 

Denison. You killed him. 

Dave. Yes — No, no, he was in that wreck 

Denison. Come on, now, you might as well 
tell the whole thing. You met up with him before 
he got here and found out about his money, and 
you two framed it up between you to get hold of it. 

Buck. That's not true. We haven't been out of 
this town, and never saw Braden. 

Denison. Then where is he ? 

Buck. I don't know. 

Denison. Don't know, eh? ^^'ell, I guess 
there's no use going any further with this. Come 
on, get your hats. (Up l. to c.) 

Dave. (Crosses up back r. of table) But you're 
wrong. I never saw the man — wouldn't know him 
if I did see him. 



no ROLLING STONES 

Denison. You'll get the chance to tell all that 
in court. 

Buck. {Crosses up to Denison) Wait a 
minute. If it's going to be like that you'd better 
take me. I'm responsible for the whole thing. 

Dave. Don't you believe him. 

Buck. This boy had nothing to do with it. He 
only did what I told him to do. 

Dave. Nothing like that at all: he was only my 
manager. 

Denison. Say, which one of you did do it? 

S: Mf • } (^''^^^^-) 

Denison. Just to make sure, I'll take you both. 
Come on. (Starts to go) 

Dave. Can't I say good-bye to Miss Noggs? 

Buck. And I'd like to see Miss Anderson. 

Denison. They'll only kick up a fuss. 

Buck. You needn't tell them what we're arrested 
for. They'll think it's something else. 

(Denison hesitates a moment, then goes down to 
room R. and opens the door. Dave crosses R. 
of table. Buck crosses d. l.) 

Denison. Come in, ladies. 

(Anna and Norma enter but nobody speaks. 
Anna goes to Buck l. and Norma to Dave 
R. c. Denison pantomimes to Emma, who is 
off R. Denison closes door d. r.) 

Anna. What's happened? 
Buck. He's got us. 
Dave. W^e're pinched. 

Norma. Pinched? Oh, darling, who pinched 
you? (Crosses to Dave) 



ROLLING STONES m 

Dave. (Embracing Norma) That guy — but 
don't worry, it'll come out all right. (Hugs her) 

Anna. Of course it will. You must be brave. 
This is only what we expected. 

Denison. So you were expecting it, eh ? You're 
certanly some bunch! (Crosses back of couch up 
to c. door) Come on, we'd better pe moving. 

Norma. (Holding Dave. Buck starts toward 
coat. Anna crosses to d. l.) I won't let him go. 
I won't let him leave me like this. 

(Dave fries to comfort her, and Anna goes to Buck 
as Jap enters, followed by Rice. Denison to 
L. above table.) 

Jap. Here they are — all of them. J guess we're 
just in time. 

Dave. Good Lord, he's out ! 

(Rice behind table.) 

Jap. (Crossing dozvn to l. of Dave) No thanks 
to you. If I hadn't been able to reach Mr. Rice 
I'd have been there all night. 

Rice. (Puts hat on table) Bless my soul! 
What's all this ? 

Norma. (Running to Rice) Oh, Air. Rice, you 
won't let them take my Jerry away, will you? 

Rice. My dear child 

Denison. (At left of table c.) Hold on a 
second. Who is this? 

Rice. My name is Rice. I'm an attorney and one 
of the executors for the Hewit estate. 

Denison. I've heard of you, Mr. Rice. 

Rice. And who are you, sir? 

Denison. Denison's my name. I'm a detective. 

Rice. Then you're the very man we want. I 



112 ROLLING STONES 

want these two men arrested on a charge of con- 
spiracy. 

Jap. And burglary. 

Denison. What burglary? 

Dave. Don't you believe a word he says. He 
was after the money himself, but we beat him to it. 

(Buck snaps fingers at Dave.) 

Jap. These men broke into my office and robbed 
the safe of the weekly pay-roll. 

Buck. Your office? Ha! 

Dave. Why, he worked for me. Just an ordinary 
employee, that's all. 

Norma. They can't arrest you. I won't let 
them! 

Rice. My child, this man is a criminal. 

Norma. I don't care, I love him and I'm going 
to marry him. 

Rice. And forfeit your inheritance ? I can't per- 
mit you to do such a thing. 

Norma. I don't care anything about the old 
money. I just want my Jerry. 

Dave. (Norma sits r. of table. Dave crosses 
over to Norma. Jap cross behind sofa dozvn r.) 
It's mighty sweet of you to feel that way, but I 
wouldn't be much good to you in jail. 

Rice. That's common sense. {To Denison) 
Do your duty and arrest this man for burglary. 

Denison. Just a minute, Mr. Rice. I've got 
these men on a more serious charge. 

Rice. What could be more serious? 

Denison. Murder. 

Jap and Anna. Murder? 

Norma. Oh, no. 

Dave. {Crosses and kneels on couch with back to 
audience) Good-night, ladies. 

Anna. Buck. 



ROLLING STONES 113 

Rice. Whose murder? 

Denison. The murder of Jericho W. Braden. 
Rice. Totally absurd. 
Jap. It's impossible. 
Denison. Why is it? 

Jap. (Crosses to c. belozv table. Puts hat on 
table c.) Because I'm Braden. 
Buck. You? (Cross l. of table) 

(Rice crosses to l. of sofa.) 

Jap. Jerry Braden of Walla Walla. 

Dave. Gee, but I'd like to believe you! 

Rice. (At right of Norma — to her) My dear, 
you see now why you mustn't do anything rash. If 
you persist in marrying this young man the entire 
estate would revert to Mr. Braden. 

Norma. I don't care. I love him and I'm going 
to marry him. (Crosses R. to couch, sits by Dave) 

Rice. My dear child, you must 

Jap. Hold on, Mr. Rice, we mustn't try to force 
this girl. 

Rice. You have a very good reason for not doing 
so, but I shan't permit such a sacrifice. 

Denison. Don't be in such a hurry, please. I 
don't know anything about this other thing, and I 
don't want to, but I am interested in finding Braden. 

Rice. I've already told you 

Denison. Just so, but I'm not satisfied. This 
young fellow may be all that he claims, and then 
again he may not. I want to ask you one question. 
Are you married? 

Jap. Certainly not. 

Denison. You're sure of that, are you? 

Jap. Of course I am. 

Dave. (As Denison goes to room r.) Now 
you've queered the whole thing. 

Denison. I'm ready for you, madam. 

Emma. (Enters r., amid a dead silence. At 



114 ROLLING STONES 

sight of Jap she gives a cry:) Jerry! (Runs 
over to him) 

Jap. Emma 

Emma. Oh, I'm so glad to see you. 

Denison. {By door d. r.) Is this your hus- 
band, madam? 

Emma. Of course, it is. Can't you see? 

Rice. Her husband? 

Dave. Now I know what's the matter with that 
guy. 

Jap. You've done it now, Emma. 

Emma. Oh, Jerry, have I spoiled it for you? I 
didn't mean to. But I was so afraid that some- 
thing had happened to you. {She cries upon Jap's 
shoulder) 

Jap. It's all right, old girl. We'll live through 
it, I guess. {Takes her in his arms) 

Buck. Well, if this doesn't beat ! 

Rice. {Indignantly) What is the meaning of 
this, sir? 

Dave. {Rises) Yes, what is the meaning of 
this, sir? 

Jap. {Crosses, Emma to his left) I may as 
well own up. We've been married for nearly a 
year, but I thought I could find a way to get my 
share of the estate in spite of it. 

Rice. You deliberately deceived us. You tried 
to make us believe 

Jap. You can't blame me for trying to get what 
was left to me, can you? 

Rice. Bless my soul, it's — it's unbelievable ! 
{Goes lip c. crosses to up l. c. Emma crosses l. 
of table up c.) 

Denison. Well, my job is finished, I guess, if 
you'll just sign your name to this. {Crosses to 
Jap) 

(Norma rises.) 



ROLLING STONES 115 

Jap. What is it ? 

Denison. My vovicher. 

Dave. {Crosses to r. of Denison) Don't you 
sign anything. That's the way he got me. 

Jap. I'll take a chance. {He signs zvith foun- 
tain pen and gives paper to Denison. The latter 
compares it zvith signature on sheet) All right? 

Denison. Yes, you're Braden, all right. 

Buck. Then if he is, you can't hold us. 

Denison. Not for murder, but if Mr. Braden 
wants to prosecute on this other charge 

Jap. Just wait outside a minute, will you? 

Denison. Sure. {Goes out center) 

Jap. Now, then, where's that money? 

Buck. {Takes out money) I've got it. I don't 
suppose you'll believe me, but it was a burglar blew 
that safe. 

Jap. On the level ? 

Rice. {As Jap starts for money, Rice crosses 
between Buck and Jap, and takes money. Crosses 
R.) I think I'd better take charge of the money. 

Jap. Perhaps you had. I don't suppose I have 
any further claim on it myself. 

Rice. Quite so. 

Dave. I think I — (Dave tries to touch the money 
in Rice's hand) 

Rice. And as Miss Noggs is willing to live up 
to the conditions of the will which concern her, 
and which are now obviously impossible for you — 
{Indicating Emma) 

Norma. {Crosses to Rice — right of table) No, 
I'm not willing, I'm going to marry my Jerry and 
no one else. 

Dave. My name isn't Jerry. 

Norma. {Crosses to Dave) You'll always be 
my little Jerry. 

Rice. {Puts money in pocket) Well, there was 
no provision made for such a situation as this. 



ii6 ROLLING STONES 

Norma. I don't see why we can't divide the old 
estate ; that's what Mr. Hewit intended 

Jap. (Crossing tozvard Rice) That's a great 
idea. If Miss Noggs marries, her husband becomes 
my partner and the firm continues as before. 

Dave. Then I declare Buck in on my end. We're 
partners, you know. 

Buck. Oh, no, nothing Hke that at all. 

Jap. After all, you've made a success of it, and 
I'd like you boys to stay, if only for the good of 
the firm. 

Buck. You mean that ? 

Jap. Sure. 

(Rice crosses up hack of table.) 

Buck. What do you say, Anna? 
Anna. {Turns slowly) I promised to stick, you 
know. 

(Buck takes her in his arms.) 

Dave. Tell that cop to go home. Come on. 
Norma, let's unpack. (He gets his suit-case, and 
sits on couch with Norma. Jap crosses r. of table; 
Emma follows him) 

Curtain 



ROLLING STONES 



117 




ii8 



ROLLING STONES 




ROLLING STONES 



119 



31 
O 






n 



H 
O 

z 

m 




120 ROLLING STONES 

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 

ACT I 

Scene I. Parlor at the Brannigans'. Immediately 

after dinner on a night in November. 

11. The Clark Street Bridge. Same night. 

III. Parlor at the Brannigans'. A few 

minutes later. 

ACT II 

Parlor at the Brannigans'. Following 
morning. 

ACT III 

Offices of the Hewitt Candy Stores. 
One month later. 

(During this act the curtain will be lowered to 
indicate a lapse of hours.) 

ACT IV 

Back at the Brannigans'. Half hour 
later. 

Time: The present. 

Place : Chicago. 

PROPERTY PLOT 

ACT I— SCENE I 



ROLLING STONES 121 

ARTICLE AND WHERE PLACED 

Brown ground cloth down, Covering stage proper 
Medallion, A little left of center 
Rug, Before fireplace 
Carpet, On hall stairs 

FURNITURE 

Fireplace, Down left 

2 vases. On mantel shelf 

Old ornamental clock, On mantel shelf 

2 small photographs, On mantel shelf 

Gas log (Practical), In mantel opening 

Andirons, In mantel opening 

Foot railings, In mantel opening 

Fire iron (Shovel, etc.), Down stage of fireplace 

Large chair. Front of fireplace 

White tidy, On this chair 

Upright piano. Catty cornered up l. 

Piano stool, 

2 white vases. On this Piano 

Silver basket, On this piano 

Yellow piano cover. On this piano 

Sheet music. On this piano 

Desk, Upright door 

Large silver pitcher, On this desk 

2 small vases. On this desk 

2 small photographs. On this desk 

I calendar, On this desk 

I pen tray. On this desk 

Pen holders. On this desk 

Ink stand. On this desk 

Pens, On this desk 

Paper, On this desk 

Envelopes, On this desk 

Envelope holder. On this desk 

Hand blotter, On this desk 



122 ROLLING STONES 

Desk blotter, On this desk 

Gilt chair, Down stage of this desk 

Small stand, Up stage of door r. 2 

Glass water pitcher, On this stand 

2 glasses, On this stand 

Tray, On this stand 

Green and yellow table cover, On this stand 

Round table, A little left of center 

Lamp (Electric) with yellow shade. On this table 

Red and yellow table cover, On this table 

2 magazines, On this table 

Safety matches in holder. On this table 

Box safety matches. On this table 

Plush backed chair, Right of this table 

Plush backed chair. Left of this table 

Plush sofa, About right center 

2 sofa cushions, Right end of this sofa 

■ t 

Pictures and hangings 

Oil painting. Over fireplace 

Portrait of lady. On flat up stage of fireplace 

Portrait of lady. On back wall left of door 

Enlargement of Brannigan and Mrs. Brannigan in 

wedding clothes, Above desk 
" What Not ", Above stand against wall 
Small white vases, etc.. Right 
Small book 

Red plush curtains, Large window up r. c. 
White lace curtains. Large window up r. c. 
Red plush curtains or portiers. Door up c. 

In hall 

Black hall rack (Hanging), Against flat to right of 

opening up c. 
Chromo, At left of hall rack 
Chair, Stands under hall rack 

Hand props, on stage : none 



ROLLING STONES 123 

Hand props, off stage 
Cigarette paper, Jap, Off 
Bag tobacco, Jap, Left 
Tooth pick, Jap, Left 
Chicago newspaper, Jap, Left 
Thirty-six dollars in money, Anna, Left 
Suit case (Clothes in it). Buck, Left 
Revolver (In suit case), Buck, Left 
Door bell effect. Right 
Revolver, Dave, Left 

NOTE: (At end of scene one, the curtains on 
window up right should be opened to allow 
" ripple " effect to shine thru for bridge scene 
11.) 

ACT I— SCENE II 

Snow cloth down, from r. 3 to apron— and all 
across stage 

ACT I— SCENE III 

Hand props, on stage 
Box safety matches. Buck, Table c. 
Hand props, off stage, off 
Tray, Buck, Left 
Pint bottle milk. Buck, Left 
Plate sandwiches, Buck, Left 
I plate. Buck, Left 
i/^ apple pie, Buck, Left 
Cup and saucer. Buck, Left 
Crash glass effect, Buck, Left 
Revolver, Brannigan, Left 
Curtains window up right are open 
NOTE: (Full chair l. of table c. up stage dunng 
change to enable Dave to crawl under table.) 



124 ROLLING STONES 

ACT II 

Curtains, windows up right are open 

Hand props, on stage 

Chicago newspaper, Dave, Mantel shelf 

Hand props, off stage 

Trunk check, Emma, Off right 

Wallet, Rice 

2 letters. Rice, 

White identication card, Jap, Off right 

Old gold watch, Jap, Right 

Letter carrier's bag. Postman, Right 

Pencil, Postman, Right 

Several packages letters, Postman, Right 

Large Manila envelope (Contains) Right 

Birth certificate. Right 

Identification card, Right 

Letter, Right 

2 red registered letter card, Off right 

Napkin, Dave, Off left 

Door bell effect, Auto horn 



ARTICLE AND WHERE PLACED 

ACT HI 

Brown ground cloth. Covers stage proper 

FURNITURE 

Water cooler, Down stage of door l. 2 

Glass 

Hat rack, In u. r. left corner 

Desk, About left center 

Desk chair, Above this desk 

Desk pad. On this desk 

Pens, On this desk 



ROLLING STONES 125 

Pencil, On this desk 

Letters, On this desk 

Telephone, At right end of this desk 

Telephone book, At right end of this desk 

Ribbon card, At right end of this desk 

Vase of flowers. At right end of this desk 

Matches in holder. At right end of this desk 

Usual office desk paraphernalia, At right end of 

this desk 
Desk, Right center (Rakes down r. and up l.) 
Desk chair. Right of desk 
Chair, Left of desk 
Telephone, Up right end of this desk 
Buzzer, On this desk 
Pads, On this desk 
Papers, On this desk 
Ink, On this desk 
Pencils, On this desk 

Usual office desk paraphernalia. On this desk 
Safe, Set in wall r. 2 
Ledger books. In this safe 
Shelves, Up l. and up r. 
Candy boes. On these shelves 
Candy display, right of desk l. c. 
Corn stalk with red ribbons. In corner up stage of 

safe 
Green windov/ shade, On windov/ up right 

PICTURES 

Signs : Over water cooler d. l. 
Hewitt's Kisses Please 

Every Girl. 
Stick to Hewitt's taffy and Panel up stage of door l. 
It will stick to you. 
We pay our Girls $9 a week. 

Eat Hewitt's Candy and stop White Slavery, Panel 
over safe d. r. 



126 ROLLING STONES 

Eat Hewitt's Peanut Brittle and Stop Drinking 

(Panel on hall backing up c.) 
Hand props on stage 
Memorandum book, Anna, Desk left 
Box kises (Picture girl on cover) Dave, Desk left 
Jelly Beans — for Dave — in boxes on shelf up right 
Small pad — for Clerk — desk right 
Check book, Dave, Desk left 
Hand props off stage 
Pencil, Jap, Ofif left 
Order blank, Jap, Off left 
Check, Strawbridge, Off left 
Key on key ring, Strawbridge, Off left 
Money-bag — contains 

Cloth bag of coins 

Package of money (paper) 
Wallet — contains 

Letter 

Red registered card, Denison, Off right 

Voucher 



SCENE n 

Burglar tools For Burglar, Off-right 

Glass cutter 

Battery 

Coil of wire 

Small bottle (supposed to contain nitro-glycerine) 

Steel drill 

Flash light 
Police whistle, Watchman, Off right 
Electric lantern. Watchman, Off right 
Revolver, Policeman, Off right 
Matches, Buck, Off right 
Match, Dave, Off right 



ROLLING STONES 127 

ACT IV 

Brown ground cloth, etc. Same as Acts I and II. 

Props off stage 

Suit case, Dave, Off right 

Ladies traveHng bag, Dave, Off left 

Fountain pen, Jap, Off right 

Door bell effect. Off right 

LIGHT PLOT 

ACT I— SCENE I 

At rise : 

Fireplace 

Gas log (if practical one is used) Fireplace, On 

2 blue olivettes, Window up r. c. On 

Amber and white strip. Over door up c, On 

Hall lamp, In hall up c. On 

2 lamp strip. Over door down r.. On 
Full up : 

Ambers and white in foots 

Ambers and white Concert border 

Chandelier 3 amber lamps 

Lamp on table c. 
Cue to change : 

Buck starts for door up c. at end of act 

Everything OUT 

SCENE II 

The moment the curtain hits the stage at end of 
Scene I. Blue foots should be thrown a 1-3 up. 
At rise : 

1-3 up on concert border blues 

Blues in i border 5^ up 

2 white " bridge " lights. On 



128 ROLLING STONES 

" Ripple " effect. Shining thru transparent drops 

at right 
Bunch Hght. Shines thru right center of drops 

SCENE III 

The moment the curtain hits the stage in Scene II. 
Whites and ambers should be thrown on in 
foots : also " Working light " concert strip. 
At rise : 

Blue olivettes. Window up r. c, On 
Hall lamp in hall up c, On 
Change: 

Buck lights lamp table c. 

Bring up 5 lamp strip in foots (3 amber and 2 
white) 
Change : 

Anna enters pushes button 
Full up 
Chandelier 

Full up. Amber and whites foots 
Amber and white Concert border 

NOTE : At the end of the act table lamp should be 
" struck" as it is used in act I, only. 

Steel blue should be used in foots, borders and 
olivettes 

LIGHT PLOT ACT II 

At rise: 

Amber and white foots 

Amer and white concert border, full up 

Strip over door up c. On i 

Strip over door up r. 2., On 

Amber in olivettes window up r. c, On 

Auto " (Klaxon) " horn effect, On r. 



ROLLING STONES 129 

ACT III 

At rise : 

Amber and white foots 

Amber and white concert border — Full up 

2 lamp strips over door d. l., On 

2 lamp strips over door up c, On 

2 amber olivettes window up R. c, On 

SCENE II 

At rise: 

Blue foots 1-3 up 

Blue olivettes window r. c. 

Change : Cue ■ while we've got the 

chance. 
Anna enters. 
Full up. Ambers and white foots 

Ambers and white concert border 
2 wall brackets left and right of door up 
center 
Change : 

Cue. quick the lights. 

Concert border 
White foots OUT 
Brackets 
Change : 

Cue. Jap enters. 

Full up (White concert border 
White foots 
Brackets 
Flash lamp for Burglar u. r. 
Electric lantern for Watchman u. R. 

ACT IV 
At rise : 

2 blue olivettes, window up r. c, On 
Hall lamp, in hall up c, On 



130 ROLLING STONES 

Full up. Ambers and white foots, on 

Ambers and concert border 
Chandelier 
Strip over door r. 
Electric push bell l. of door up c. (practical) 

NOTE: If a real safe is used blocks should be 
brought on during change and placed by Burglar 
so that door in falling won't break handle and 
combination. Chairs should be shoved under 
desks as far as possible to allow plenty room for 
business. Window shade should be run up to 
top while change is being made. 

Door slam effect, Off r. 

Glass cutter. Off r. 

Telephone bell effect, Off r. and l. 

Buzzer effect in drawer desk r. 

Revolver for safe blowing egect, Off R. 

Black stick to open safe door 




J.: ^. 



-I -;r :-:.>• 



^.?^.'-..,7 



• •!■:' 






v<>^,: 






